Page 71 of The Cerulean Sister
He is testing me, seeing if I bend in submission or fight back as my gifts are stripped.
What happens next could derail any chance to stop the Temple of Divine Mothers.
I clear my throat as if it is nothing. "Apologies, Lord Hollis. My etiquette is lacking. Viathan company allows me to roam in and out without permission. Poor things don't even notice," I lie with a tight smile.
"Yes, well, you are in the Estate now, former Priestess."
I bow my head. "My intention is for forgiveness."
Lord Hollis is easy to appease. The moment his ego gets a taste of power, manufactured or not, he is blinded by any manipulation. He is perfect to practice Estate manners on, even if the words feel ridiculous and stilted as they come out.
His rudeness toward me is not much different than my treatment before as a lesser priestess. Even the removal of my gift feels the same as being forced to stifle looking into others' minds’ eyes.
Lord Hollis is a propped-up pawn to do the bidding of the temple and make sure I am serious about their offer. I have to give them what they want: submission and the appearance of my immense regret for losing my way.
Perhaps no other priestess will ever be selected to assist on a conjunction year again. Maybe mine will be recorded as a bout of hysteria and used as a cautionary tale to lesser priestesses to not look beyond their station and to pray harder during the conjunction year to not end up like Priestess Ferren.
They can think what they want, say what they want, and write whatever tale of me in their twisted versions of history.
"Are we going to the emperor's wing?” I pause in the corridor that leads to it, but his shoulders are pointed in the other direction.
He turns toward me, gesturing for the guards to halt. "No."
"Am I not to be received by Emperor Matthias?" I ask, confused.
"Emperor Matthias has no need for you. Your business is with the priestess order."
I want to scream at him to take me to my sister, to claw my way past them and flee in her direction as we turn away from the emperor's wing. If I seem eager or brazen, then this will not work.
"Are we to go to the temple to begin the ritual then?"
He shushes me and holds out a forearm in the direction he would like me to walk.
Despite my body begging me not to follow him down the candlelit hallways, I do. I force each step, trying to remain calm. Willing myself to appear like I want this, to go deeper into the Estate without opposition.
"Does it look different from how you left it?" Lord Hollis smirks and offers a hand as we cross the grand stairs. The same stairs 99 used to lead us toward freedom that day we left Cosima, right before we heard the footsteps of Estate guards coming to stop us.
My eyes fall to the spot Calliape’s body landed across the huge room, my breath hitching at the memory.
"Former Priestess?" Lord Hollis says, and I realize I have stopped walking. "Issue?"
"No. The Estate looks . . . the same. Darker, of course. I always forget how truly dark the conjunction can be." I smile and continue to follow him.
But where to? This direction does not seem right.
I have seen the atonement ritual before. It was performed in the Estate temple and in the bathhouse for final completion.
He stops at the wooden door, and it makes a terrible creak as he pulls the knob, a noticeable difference from the smooth, disappearing ones in the capital building on Viathan.
This isn't right. It can't be.
"Come." He flicks at me.
These stairs lead lower into the Estate, to a place where people are sent and never seen again.
"Lord Hollis." I huff with a fake smile, trying to remain calm. "I was offered atonement. I am meant to begin the ritual."
This was a mistake.
