Page 88 of The Cerulean Sister
When she lets go, she glances around to see if anyone noticed, like she got lost in the excitement of seeing me and forgot my current status.
"I've missed you," she says, picking up a piece of my grey veil and admiring it like it’s fine silk. "You look amazing. I'm so happy."
I know she is referring to the color, what it means. To Thea, this should solve all my problems. I have ascended and the temple has accepted me back, so all is well in the Estate.
"I've missed you too." Miss may not be the right word. I care for Thea, but she was always out of reach.
The moment I felt how deep a friendship could be with Calliape and August, I knew what Thea and I had was not the same. I miss my time with her when things were simple and I only had one thought on my mind—to ascend. I wish I knew her outside of the temple, how our lives would intertwine if we were not forced to remain at a distance because of our statuses.
Thea has always been elevated even over most other high priestesses. Her lineage is old and powerful, but she is so tender-hearted, she chose her own assignment in the School of Divine Children. I have never seen her teach them, but I imagine she is patient and wonderfully optimistic. Both things were lacking in my time at the school as a child.
"You have no idea how much I have prayed that you would return." She gives Ben a look and a not-so-secret smile and pulls my hand toward a large pillar for us to hide behind.
"I looked for you in the temple." I'm not sure what to say to Thea anymore. I wonder if she feels it too, the even thicker wall that separates us.
"We are packed in like stuffed geese on days like today. Isn't it wonderful?"
She smiles at me with that eerie, glazed look I saw earlier.
"It is." I raise both eyebrows and force myself to look excited.
She hums dreamily and touches my dark grey gown again. "Soon, the incense smoke will lift and you will be back to your old duties, and when your time of atonement is over, I will push for an ascension ceremony. You deserve it. I know how much you wanted one."
She looks sincere, like she would be willing to go right now and ask Crixa to end my punishment early. Thea is so kind, it makes me feel lacking. I can't tell her not to bother, that I will be gone long before then, so I smile and nod. "That would be wonderful, and maybe I could get a new temple gown for it."
"Yes!"
Ben clears his throat, trying to convey we are being too loud.
She presses her lips together at his too serious face. "I should go. The school children will want to hear about the ceremony," she whispers closer to me.
"Wait . . . Thank you for getting word to me. Thea, you have no idea how important that was to receive."
"Of course I do," she says a little more sternly. "You had to know, and if that is the reason you came back to us, I am happy to have risked the punishment." She glances at Ben, a little worried.
"Thank you," I repeat and hold her hand.
"You are welcome, but we must not speak of it again."
"I swear it."
"Good." She glances at Ben again and I know he is listening.
Leema has met Thea on occasion during her visits with me in the past. The two of them are familiar enough that Leema felt comfortable seeking her out to ask after me. If I cannot get to Leema, then maybe Thea can.
“You said Leema was asking for me. I would love to speak with her, but it will be difficult. Could you?—"
"I am not sure. I am not often in the same places as she is," Thea interrupts.
"Please. I would not ask if it was not heavy on my heart. I just want to speak with her after all this time. She looks so happy."
"I will try," she whispers.
I hate using my actual pain to make her understand. It's terrible to manipulate Thea like this, but I cannot see any other way to get into that temple. And while I do want to speak with Leema, it will not be on the topics Thea assumes.
The divine child presented during our temple service today has a mother, and during my visit with Leema, I intend to find out what happened to her.
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