Page 90 of The Cerulean Sister
Names. Dates.
The sound of someone else gasping has me almost jumping out of my skin.
I see a young man dressed in a brown scholar's robe struggling to balance his stack of books while holding his chest like he has been startled. A few fall to the floor, his heaving breath knocking the top layer over.
I quickly stand like I've been caught, but he holds out his hand for me to relax.
"You scared me is all," he says. "I was not expecting to see someone sitting there. And it's so dark in here, well, you can imagine how the mind wanders."
"Apologies, I did not mean to frighten you," I say.
He places the stack on my old desk and then picks up the few books that fell.
"No, no, it's alright."
I use the moment when his head is turned to stuff the ledger back into the drawer and slam it shut, testing that it is once again sticking and seemingly locked to someone who does not know this piece of furniture like I do.
"Ah! You got it open?" he asks. "I gave up. I've been using this other desk anyway. It didn't seem right to take over someone else's, moving all their things." He rearranges his books by size nervously.
It becomes very clear he is Mary's replacement. A young Estate scholar working for the temple, scribing and translating their ancient books in the assigned room that connects the library to the scholar chambers, as she did for so many years.
"That one was mine." I lift my chin to the desk he has made his own.
Something about his presence feels safe enough to not bow my head and scamper away.
"Oh!" He points to me. "You are, uh— Priestess . . . Ferren! The one who retrieved the stones. Mary's assistant. Or is it High Priestess?" He glances at my grey veil. "I am awful with titles."
"I'm High Priestess Ferren," I correct because I am supposed to be giving the illusion that I care deeply still.
"I am Edwin, just Edwin." He smiles.
I fix my veil, a little uncomfortable by the almost too friendly interaction.
"I'm sorry, uh, hmmm." He scratches at his brow and then looks into the archway, as if checking to see how far away Ben is. "I have heard the priestess who brought back the stones has a sister and she is in the Temple of Divine Mothers. That is wonderful news."
The easy, friendly feeling I had starts to constrict my insides, like I should not be back here. I can feel my face blanching, draining of all blood, sending it to my limbs like my body thinks I need to get ready for a fight.
I don't answer him, just watch to see what he will do. I cannot walk around him to exit if needed; he stands almost directly in the aisle, blocking me, intentional or not.
When I don't answer, he comes a little closer.
"That is wonderful news, right?" he says genuinely and then searches my face.
I nod and fake a closed-mouthed smile.
He pauses like he wants to say more but doesn't know how. It's unnerving not knowing his intentions or if he is just a strange, awkward man.
"It seems it is my turn to do the frightening." He winces like he didn't realize what he was doing. "Forgive me."
"That is alright," I reassure, still waiting for him to move out of the way so I can leave.
"I have no affiliation to the temple. Only the books."
It's such a peculiar thing to say, and I wish I had my gift of mind’s eye to look inside his head and explain the strange tone and choice of words. It is like he is being careful, though he hasn't said much at all.
"I should get back to my duties."
"Oh, of course! I saw the statue when I walked in, very beautiful." He smiles and clumsily moves out of the walkway.
