Page 96 of The Cerulean Sister
"I am not afraid of you, Lord Hollis. If you were dropped on any other world, you would be eaten up like chum by the old gods. I have seen creatures that were here before us. It would feast on you and stack your bones like decorations. You are nothing outside the emperor's favor."
He sucks on a bone obscenely, then throws it to his plate in a slimy thud and finishes his entire portion, waiting for me to exhaust myself fighting with my bonds. He stares at nothing, a blank cast on his features as he thinks.
I have observed people long enough to know when their minds are just swirling carelessly and when the thoughts are intentional, real enough to sink into and pluck out. I don't needthe gift of mind’s eye to know the next words out of his mouth will be cruel and calculated.
"I have spoken with the highest about your final act of atonement. She mentioned broaching the subject with you previously and hoped you would reconsider given the new circumstances."
"Speak plainly," I spit.
"Your contribution to the future of the temple. A divine conception ritual before the conjunction ends. You are familiar with the ritual?"
I am too stunned to answer him.
Crixa mentioned how I could contribute, knowing I would not live up to what she thought I would be. The hope being that I could at least serve the temple by continuing my lineage, passing down divinity through a matriarchal line.
Pregnancies among high priestesses have always been encouraged, sacred even. Some women have liaisons with guards to ensure a divine pregnancy, while others will elect for a more ritualistic approach, set rules and a predetermined match, approved by the temple to mix First Mother’s gifts to create stronger ones.
Even in my early days after taking my vows, when all I had on my mind was ascension and my future in the priestess order, I did not want that for myself.
"Don't make that face, High Priestess. You would never be forced to partake in the ritual. But consider it a means to an end. A declaration that you truly are dedicated to the priestess order. Those were the highest’s words."
I shake my head in disbelief. "Why would she speak toyouof such things?"
"Oh, I made a submission for her to consider. If you did decide to . . . partake, you won't have many options, and suppose we survive the day, I doubt you will have many more."
"You disgust me. I would never consider you for the ritual."
He laughs. "Not me, no. One of my guards. His Mother's gifts would complement yours."
"The answer is no."
"Cosima is becoming a very dangerous place. If only you had gifts to protect yourself. Instead, they are . . . tied up until you have been thoroughly forgiven."
I turn my face away, the only part of me I can move, determined to ignore him as much as I can.
He is trying to get under my skin, scare me in one of the few ways he knows how, and while the topic is terrifying, I will not show him that.
Hours seem to pass as I’m stuck in my chair. I even drift off as the noises outside die down, the bell no longer ringing.
We wait for any indication that it is safe. The guards outside the door no longer move around, and I would not be surprised if they left, instructed to help in a more important part of the Estate.
Lord Hollis paces around the room, retiring to an armchair to read for some time and then joining me at the table again to dine on the desserts laid out.
He has not spoken to me in hours, the entire room silent, too silent.
The kind of stillness that makes my ears ring and strain to hear any subtle change.
Lord Hollis notices it too, pausing his chewing, then pulling at his earlobe and flexing his jaw to clear the passage.
Then we hear footsteps.
Strong and intentional, coming down the corridor.
Another set comes from the other side.
I stare at the heavy wooden furniture that should be in front of the door and then at the flimsy handle that could easily be broken.
My only hope is that when they come inside, they will kill Lord Hollis first so I can watch.
