Page 117 of The Garnet Daughter
He does not react. He watches me, waiting to receive the rest.
I nod and continue, “I thought it was the mountain. Some of the elders told stories about how the sacred mountain was actually an old god that we lived on. I thought maybe it was speaking to me. It was like being pushed or pulled away, like I could not breathe unless I was attempting to leave. But it wasn’t like when Omnesis speaks. Perhaps it’s the same language but it’s from a different source.”
“When you heard this voice . . . understood the creature, you became more Mother blessed?”
August has never fully grasped gifts from First Mother, always getting a little antsy with the topic so some of the details get lost on him. He was never exposed to anyone on Viathan with gifts or in any of his travels, going off rumors and stories alone.Until he met Ferren and all of her divinity, then came to my village and quickly saw a different side to it all.
“Not quite.” I pause, examining the question closer but falling short. “Actually, I’m not sure.”
“This is why the priestess order wants you in their ranks?” He lifts my hand and kisses it softly.
“Some of the reason, yes.”
“Continue.”
“When I asked you to take me away from Frith, I told you it was because of Selene. That was partially a lie. I thought I was hearing that voice because I was meant for something elsewhere, a bigger purpose. It’s foolish.”
“No,” he assures. “Not foolish at all.”
“Well, even so, it doesn’t change that I lied to you. I knew you flirted with me in the village and that you would be easy to convince. I would never do that now. I’m so sorry. I was desperate to go, and you all were leaving so soon . . .”
“Callia.” He runs his thumb over the top of my hand. “You did not know me then, so of course you didn’t trust me enough to speak the whole truth.”
“I used you.”
“Even if I’d noticed, I would have welcomed it.” He snorts. “I’ve never had someone flirt their way onto my ship in all my travels. I was too intrigued that you came all the way down the mountain to me and not the others.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to laugh. I’ve been feeling guilty all this time that I lied to you.” I give him a flat look.
“You told me what you needed to and held onto the more sensitive information until you could trust me,” he explains with a smile. “Smart girl.”
I drop my head, still raked with shame for lying to him when even now he is so thoughtful and determined to make me feel better.
He places a knuckle under my chin to make me look at him, his expression more serious because he knows it’s exactly what I need. “Don’t be sorry, Callia. I understand, and thank you for telling me. Now, put it out of your mind.”
I give him a tentative smile, but this sensation will not so easily dissolve from my system.
“Have you heard this voice since you left Frith?” he asks.
I nod. “A few times. When I retrieved the book from the Estate temple, it even said my name.”
He nods like I have answered a desperate question.
“I folded into it. It hadn’t been recovered since the ritual.” I lace his fingers with mine, praying to be grounded by his steady presence for my next confession. “August, the spell in the temple, it didn’t just . . . fail.”
His dark brow furrows tightly.
“I mean, it did fail,” I clarify. “But when I knew I could not place the ward . . . I tried to wake First Mother or any old god who could help us.”
He runs his thumb over the top of my hand. “I did not know that was possible.”
“The spell book said it was. Selene understood it was not good to have in our possession either. That’s why she hid it from me, but I found it. I freed Omnesis. Yes, a tremor broke the temple in half, it may have been in the dungeon like Ferren said, but the tremor did not release it. It was heavily warded. It’s my fault it is free, that High Priestess Thea died.”
“You were trying to save us all.”
“It doesn’t matter. I told Ferren. I had to tell her first. I did not want you to be compelled to support me. But why would you? I did something terrible.” When I flick my gaze up to meet his, it is dark and fully focused on me, the intensity making me flustered. My words come out increasingly panicked. How can I articulate all the layers I have created of this mess? “I just wasn’tsure how she would handle it, if she wanted me out of her life. Say something . . . please.”
“I already knew.”
