Page 83 of The Garnet Daughter
“Then come closer.” He grins.
He didn’t say anything near to what normally makes me blush, but I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks. I move to his side and press my back against the boulder and lean in, convincing myself it’s for secrecy and not because he smells good, even after a long, sweaty day.
“If we can truly see the rock formation in the morning,” I whisper so low he tilts his head to the side to listen carefully, and it takes me too long to continue. “Maestra said the temple was in a dense tree line. I could fold us to it if you don’t trust her.”
He tucks his chin down at me with a dubious smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “You would leave her out in the desert like that?”
“She lives in this desert, August. Don’t make me feel bad. You’re the one who is so suspicious.”
His crossed arms fall to his sides and I automatically scoot closer, the unspoken response between our bodies sending me into such a foggy space, I forget how to form my next words.
“It’s my job to protect you. I take it very seriously.”
“Is it?” I furrow my brow. He’s being ridiculous on purpose. “I’m pretty sure we protect each other and it is my turn.”
He huffs a laugh and then settles into the rock more, leaning his head back to look up at the sky, exposing the cords in his neck the Viathan armor normally covers with the missing helmet.
“We should wait until first eclipse light, see our surroundings before we decide,” I reason and join him, looking up at the impossibly dark sky.
He nods.
A comfortable silence falls between us. The temperature may be cold, but my side touching his is on fire.
Finally, he shifts a little, clearing his throat like he wants to say something. “Are we going to talk about what happened?” he asks without turning to face me.
“What happened?”
“You kissed me.”
“No . . .youkissedme, August.” I straighten, more defensive than I mean to sound.
“Sure felt like you did. Would you like to not-kiss me again right now?”
“Don’t be a child,” I groan
My answer isn’t exactly no.
He raises his palms in surrender and looks back up at the sky like he has finished speaking and we are going back to the peaceful company we were keeping before. But then I see a devilish smile he is trying desperately to hide.
“Alright, what about what I said on the ship?” he continues, voice lower.
I stare at him, a little lost. It takes a long moment for him to look back at me. But when he does, the smirk on his face fades, replaced with such genuine yearning it takes my breath away. Iknow what he means without the need for clarification. I did not let myself remember until now, perhaps even convinced myself I had heard him wrong. But that’s a lie. I know he thought there was a chance his hasty plan could go horribly awry and in the last moment before my pod left, he said he loved me.
He loves me.
Suddenly, my breathing becomes a little heavier as I realize what this means, how it complicates the fact that we kissed. No, it complicates everything, of how I proceed with Omnesis, of going back to Frith after the conjunction. Of accepting Ferren may want me out of her life once she finds out the truth I have been keeping or how he may not feel the same after he knows too.
But maybe most of all, it complicates the lies I have been telling myself about how I feel about him, how I have felt.
“I don’t remember.” My voice cracks in flooded panic. “I-I didn’t hear you.”
He sees right through it, hovering close and boxing me in. “Which is it? You don’t remember or you didn’t hear me say it?”
“It can be both, August!” I climb out of his all-consuming proximity and turn back to camp.
“Calliape, wait!” He gains on me quickly and half steps in front to block the path.
I can’t meet his eyes. All I can do is stare off to the side and force myself to breathe.
