Page 105 of The Garnet Daughter
“It will take a while for me to heal from this. But I will tell you what I told myself when I had guilt about the ritual. It mighthave come easier and sooner had I not had to muck through my own mind to get to it. We all made mistakes that day. Thea’s death was an accident.” She sniffles a little. “It was not at anyone’s purposeful hands.”
“But I’m to blame, Ferren?—”
“I warned you about that spell book, yet I volunteered to read from it with you. The blame can swirl around forever and ever, eat away at us if we let it. I cared for Thea, but she would have not done for me and my sister what you have. And perhaps I am wicked for saying that. Thea was my friend . . . from whom I was before. But you, you are my family, and I would not be able to go on without you.”
I smash into her, hugging her so tightly all the air from her lungs leaves in a quick huffing sound. “You’re my family too, Ferren. When we get out of this terrifying ship, I will tell you everything you want to know. I will bring my ward down so you can sift through and see I truly made a mistake.”
“No, no, Calliape. I can’t do that with everyone, have access like I do with 99.” She holds my shoulders. “Just trust me more. I can handle you telling me the truth. I’m not Selene.”
I nod, the uncomfortable connection with my past actions on full display.
She hugs me again before we continue, walking down each passage in more comfortable silence than before. We are not back to how we were, I have hurt her, but the weight of the three worlds has lessened slightly from my shoulders.
We finally make it to what seems like the belly of the ship, a cargo hull with weapons and totes askew in the darkness.
“They said the panel should be there.” Ferren strides toward the farthest wall, where small, glowing buttons flicker.
She reads aloud a series of numbers displayed on the screen to 99 and August so they can decipher how we proceed. In return, she presses a sequence into the panel, forcing the seamaround the exit to break, and the familiar whooshing sound of a mechanical ramp fills the space. Eclipse light pours in almost as fast as the sandy, dry heat of Cosima.
When the ramp hits the ground, we practically run down it. Commanders with guns drawn file in past us, likely heading straight to the location of the people in that strange sleep state.
August hugs me, pushing my cheek into his chest a little too hard. “By the three worlds you scared me.” He heaves on relieved air. “We need to inform the others in more details of what we saw of the fleet, so 99 can send it to Lord General.”
“I know.” I lean into him, inhaling his scent and grounding myself because this may be the hardest part of what I have to tell Ferren today. “And then I need to tell all of you what Omnesis said First Son is planning.”
Being in the mess hall of the Viathan fleet ship is somehow soothing, or maybe it’s the fact we are all together again, sitting around the table, eating and sipping tea. August sits across from me, opting to stare while I drink instead of having his chair tucked in close to mine, which I know he would prefer. He understands I need a wide space to breathe and more faces to focus on other on than Ferren’s and 99’s.
August recounts the details of our hijacking and the woman who helped us before quickly moving to the First Son fleet and every vessel he saw. I nod and second each description as 99 sends a message to Lord General for them to make the perimeter more secure for what is coming. The weapons they have arenot enough, but August suggests turrets to combat the towerlike structures we saw being moved in the birthlands.
“Selene and the order should be updated, too, so they can prepare the priestesses who will fight on the front lines. She has been helping with the highest selections,” Ferren announces to the room, but her flicking gaze lets me know it is an update meant for me. “A new, stronger ward will be erected soon.”
“Did she say when?” 99 asks.
Ferren turns toward me, sensing my discomfort at hearing Selene’s name. It is no secret that my relationship with her is suffering as well.
“They are casting votes on the women they have narrowed down. All divine can vote, including you, Calliape, if you wish,” she says gently.
“I can?” My brow furrows in a twist, likely making my confusion seem like disgust, so I quickly soften it.
“Yes, it is written in the ancient texts. The very first highest came to power by those who were divine, not order members.” She smiles flatly, reciting information she has stored away somewhere deep inside but can easily recall.
“Will you?”
“I am not permitted.” She smiles bigger this time. Even the mention that she has done something to banish her from the order’s rituals and ceremonies lights up her face, then she wraps her hand around 99’s and his helmet tilts toward her, the touch making him appear softer even with all his armor on.
August watches them too, and when his eyes meet mine finally, they are so full of longing to show me the same affection outwardly that I have to quickly avert my gaze.
“Have you received word from Commander Wesley?” August blurts out. His voice has a harsh tone to it, the layers of misplaced frustration breaking through the cracks just a little.
“Briefly.” 99 sits up straighter, making sure to glance at both of us to drive his words home. “He will be dealt with.”
“I did not expect him to do such a thing,” Ferren says over the lip of her mug.
“How will he survive out there?” I shake my head.
“There have been recent reports of cannibalism. He will be lucky if dehydration takes him,” 99 adds blankly.
“Oh, do you think the woman who helped you was . . . ?” Ferren plays with the handle of her tea.
