Page 116 of Secrets Beneath the Waves
“Please. I handled that a few days ago.”
“I hope you let them down easy.”
“Nope. I shattered their hearts.”
She left out the part where she had actually liked them, in her own way. It hadn’t been love—not even close—but there had been something real, something fleeting she’d allowed herself to enjoy. Not that her parents needed to know that.
And she hadn’t actually broken up with them. Matthew had already made arrangements to leave the island since the mission was over. Luke would know something was up when she didn’t show up for work tomorrow. Mark would eventually move on when he realized her phone was disconnected and he never heard from her again.
She should probably tell him in person, but it seemed easier this way.
“Where am I going?” Ellie asked, steering the conversation back to business so she didn’t have to deal with the only regret she felt in this mission.
“We,” Mom said, “are going on a mission together.”
Ellie sat up straighter. “Wait, seriously?”
When Ellie was younger, her mother had talked a lot about them running missions together, painting it like some inevitable adventure waiting on the horizon. But as the years passed, the subject quietly disappeared, leaving Ellie to wonder if the dream had died, or worse, if her mom had decided she wasn’t good enough.
“Hold on,” Dad cut in. “Jamie, I thought yousworeyou’d never do a mission with Ellie.”
What?
Ellie’s stomach twisted. The words stung her heart like a fiery dart. Swore? As in,absolutely never? That wasn’t just hesitation or concern. That was a hard no.
She turned toward the phone, as if she could see her mother squirming through the receiver.
The words felt bitter, heavier than a dead weight. It was one thing to doubt herself in the dead of night, but to hear it confirmed, out loud, from her mother, cut deeper than she was prepared for.
A long pause. Silence stretched between them, thick and unmoving.
Her mom should have answered by now. Should have said something, anything, to take the sting out of it. But she didn’t.
“Thank you very much for bringing it up, Alex,” she finally said. “That was supposed to be between us.”
Ellie’s mind spun through the possibilities. Did her mother not trust her skills? Did she think she wasn’t ready? Or worse, was she afraid Ellie would put her life in jeopardy, and she wasn’t willing to risk it?
Tears welled up in her eyes. It didn’t seem fair. She had spent years pushing herself, training harder than any young girl should have to, determined to prove she could handle anything the job threw at her.
She was obsessively desperate for her mother’s approval. And now she learned that she was fine sending her on missions with other people but not with her.
She even made a vow!
Even though Ellie dreaded asking for answers, she needed them. She forced her voice to stay steady. “Mom, how come you didn’t want to do a mission with me?” she said, trying to keep the hurt from coming through the phone even though she could tell it did.
Another pause.
Then her dad, ever the one to deflect with humor, finally cut in. “Because your mother loves you more than she loves me.”
“That’s not what I said,” Mom shot back, exasperation in her tone.
Ellie raised an eyebrow. “Then whatdidyou say? Is it because I’m not good enough?”
“No! That’s not it at all. You’re my daughter. It’s not you; it’s me. If we went on a mission together, I was worried that I’d be overprotective. That I’d overcompensate. I was afraid that I’d get us both killed.”
Was she making it up or sincere? Ellie couldn’t tell over the phone. She wished they were together so she could look into her eyes.
“What’s changed?” Ellie said, roughly.
