Page 14 of Code Word
I didn’t know which of those would be worse.
I told myself to give him time.
It was a chickenshit way out, but I knew Luke. Iknewhim.
He’d tell me when he was ready.
And anyway, I’d brought him up here to the cabins so he could get away from the city, away from whatever was troubling him. Giving him some peace and quiet, and maybe even get him to reconnect with music.
Music had always been a comfort, a familiar and cathartic release for all of us. It wasn’t just a creative outlet or a means to make money. We made music. Atrous wrote musical scores and lyrics. We poured our hearts and souls into each and every song.
And I was joking when I’d said that music was our therapy, but it was. Not just for Maddox, but for all of us.
Music was where it all began for us.
I figured if Luke heard me playing his guitar, he’d come back in eventually.
He wouldn’t be able to help himself. It’d pull him back like the pied piper, and maybe it was a low blow, but I didn’t know how else to reach him.
Music was a language for us that needed no words.
And I wasn’t wrong. Ten minutes later, he came back into the barn, sheepish, sorry maybe, and a bit embarrassed.
But he sat at his keyboard and joined in, and soon enough we were playing, jamming away, only stopping every so often for him to write notes down in his notepad and record a few bars.
It was like the old days again.
He even smiled and laughed. Smiling like he used to, with those creases at the corners of his eyes that made him look eighteen again, before everything began to weigh him down.
Well, he’d smile until he seemed to catch himself being happy, and it’d die right there on his face, replaced with a smile I didn’t recognize.
A smile that hurt to see.
Hollow, forced, and pretend.
Not my Luke’s smile.
My Luke.
In the end, I was reluctant to admit I was hungry and getting cold. I didn’t want to ruin our afternoon of any progress I’d made, no matter how flimsy it might have been. Even if we hadn’t talked about what was wrong.
Eventually, my stomach won. “Shit,” I said, pretending to have just remembered something. “I better go check that the fire in the cabin hasn’t gone out.” I put his guitar down and stood up. “I’ll make a start on dinner. Don’t stay out here too long. It’s getting cold.”
I gave his shoulder a squeeze before I left him to it.
It was gray and getting dark outside, the ground already crunching under my feet with frost. I shivered, pulling my coat up as I skipped up the steps to the cabin. The fire was almost out, and I was glad I’d made the call about coming in early.
Plus, I needed to feed Luke as well. Maybe with a full belly and a warm cabin, he’d get some better sleep. Especially if he was sharing a bed with me...
I saved the fire first, then threw together a pot of sausage, onion, tomato, and pasta, kinda hoping for the best.
“Something smells good,” Luke said, coming inside maybe thirty minutes later.
It was well and truly dark out now, and his nose and ears were red, his cheeks flushed pink as he warmed his hands by the fire. It would strike me at random times like this just how good-looking he was, despite how tired he was, and it was easy to see why fans and photographers loved him.
“Oh, thanks,” I said, stirring the pot. “It’s almost done. Did you close the barn?”
“Yes, Dad.”
