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He stared at me. “Is that all?”
I stared right back. “What do you mean, is that all?”
He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “Blake,” he whispered.
“What do you mean, is that all?” I repeated, somewhat louder this time. “Is that not enough? What the fuck am I missing here, Jer? I’m gonna need you to spell it out for me because I’m too hungover for this shit and my head is killing me.”
“Christ, Blake. You really don’t know.”
I squinted at him. My head was throbbing now.
“How could you not know?”
“How could I not know what? For fuck’s sake, Jeremy.”
“How Luke feels about you.”
“How can I know when he won’t talk to me. He wouldn’t even fucking look at me.”
“Because he’s in love with you!” Jeremy cried, his hands raking his hair, frustrated.
I stared at him.
“He’s been in love with you for years.”
My mouth opened and closed. Opened and closed. I think I blinked. My mind couldn’t make sense of his words. “What?”
He sighed and looked at me pitifully. “He’s denied it for years.”
“Bullshit,” I said. “It’s not like that. He’s not like that.”
“Like what?” Jeremy said, defensive. “Bisexual?”
I could not get my head around it. “No. He’s not. He would have told me. Do you know how many women he’s slept with?”
“Not as many as you.”
I snorted. “True.”
“It doesn’t change anything. And maybe he’s not even bisexual. I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to him about it. But you know how I was when I realized I was attracted to Steve. Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt, Blake. It fucks with your head. And Luke’s been denying this for years. Denying it until it ate him up so bad he couldn’t stand it.”
All I could do was shake my head. “That’s bullshit.”
Jeremy scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. “He knows you don’t feel the same. That you can’t. And seeing you with Becca...” He shrugged. “He just needs some time to deal with it. Give him that, at least.”
I still didn’t believe it.
“Nope. I don’t... this is a crock of shit. He would have told me. I would have known. He’s never...”
“Never what?” He locked eyes with me, hard and serious. “Ruined your friendship? When you had a different woman every other night until you started dating his sister? When you’re straight and he’s not?”
“He had a different woman every other night too,” I countered, childish, but I didn’t give a fuck. “Until he met Vana.”
“Vana was nothing more than a distraction,” he said quietly. “A last attempt at getting you out of his system.”
I shook my head again, trying to think back over the weeks, months, years. “Nope.”
Jeremy sighed. “Look. I shouldn’t have said anything. Maddox is gonna be pissed and Luke will probably never speak to me again.”
