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And drove.

Until I was pulling up to a familiar set of gates.

This place had been my home for the last four years, and a stab of panic shot through me.

What if he’d changed my access code?

What if I got in there and all my stuff was packed up?

What if he told me to leave for good?

I figured, then I’d know how he truly felt...

And maybe then I could walk into the fucking ocean.

I pressed in my access code and the click of the gate as it began to slide open startled me.

The nervous dread of what awaited me bubbled in my gut.

I was about to see him. I needed to see him, like I needed freaking air.

I wasn’t entirely sure of what I was about to say, but at least we’d be face-to-face and we could talk this out.

Get past this radio silence that’d been fucking killing me.

I drove slowly up to the house, parking at the front door instead of pulling into the garage.

I wasn’t sure how welcome I’d be, and I didn’t want to overstep by assuming I still had the right to park in the garage...

The front door had a security pad, but just walking in didn’t feel right either.

Because I didn’t technically live here anymore.

Well, my stuff is still here.

But he asked you to give him space.

And that dread in my belly began to boil and roll.

Fuck, I hate this.

I considered getting back in my car and leaving. I wasn’t ready to face this. I wasn’t ready to hear him tell me to go.

But I had to do something. I had to get this over with.

I had to know . . .

So I rang the doorbell. And waited. And waited.

Nothing.

So I pressed the intercom.

“Luke,” I said, having to push the air out. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Luke, it’s me. I know you said you needed some time away from me, but I need to talk to you.”

Fuck, I sounded so pitiful.

I was pitiful.