Page 58 of Code Word
He sucked back a breath and let out a sob. “I was doing so well,” he mumbled into my neck.
I cradled the back of his head. “Doing so well at what? Luke...”
He pulled back, eyes full of tears, and he thumped my chest. “At not thinking about you. I was doing so well.” He sobbed out a cry. “Why are you here?”
What the . . . ?
“Why am I here?” I put my hands to his face, cupping his jaw. “For you. I came here for you. Because you left me. Because you fucking left me.”
Luke’s face crumpled and he sagged. “I couldn’t . . . I tried . . .”
I pulled out my wallet and took out the folded piece of paper. The song with my name on it. “I found this.”
His eyes went wide with fear, and he shook his head as another tear fell down his cheek. He looked about to protest, to deny, but then he sagged, so utterly defeated.
I pulled him into my arms again, and he was heavy this time, leaning against me, his arms going around me. I held him tight as he cried, and I’d held him a hundred times in my life, but this was different.
I was different.
“I came here for you, Luke,” I murmured. “And this time, I’m not letting you go.”
ELEVEN
“We need to talk,”I whispered. “We’re gonna talk this out.”
He pulled back, his face a mess of tears, and he tried to put his hand up. “Can we just forget about it? I’ll get over it. I’m sorry, I?—”
“I don’t want you to forget about it.Idon’t want to forget about it. I’m here, Luke. For you.”
“I can’t... I can’t lose you, don’t you see? Don’t you see, Blake?”
“See what?” I asked. “That you left me? That Becca broke up with me because I’m a dumbass who’s been in love with his best friend his whole life but was too blind to see it. Until he left me and I had to deal with all this shit on my own, because I have no one but you, and you fuckingleft me. I have been a mess, Luke. A fucking mess. I got on a plane with nothing but my passport. No bag, no anything. And I walked this beach looking for you because it was the only clue I had?—”
“Wait...” He stared at me. “Becca broke up with you?” His face crumpled and he began to cry again. “Why?”
Was he not listening?
“Because I’m a dumbass. Her words exactly were that I’m a dumbass and I’m blind. That I never really loved her because I’m in love with you, and that I’m an idiot.”
He stared at me for the longest time. “You what?”
“I’m an idiot.”
He snorted out a teary laugh. “No, I got that part.” But then more tears ran down his cheek. “You said?—”
“That I’m in love with you,” I replied. Pretty sure that was the third time I’d said it, not that I was counting. “I always have been. I just never realized what it was until I didn’t have it anymore.”
Luke shook his head and tried to speak, more tears spilling down his cheeks.
“It took you breaking up with me for me to realize. I’ve spent the last week either drunk or crying on the floor. Everything’s been fucking awful. Then today I tried to be normal and I went out in public, but it was terrible, and I ended up at your house. I found all the photos you left on the floor and the song you wrote.” I looked down at the crumpled song. “And I can see it now, you and me, and what was always there. I don’t know what any of it means, but I just had to find you. I was going in-fucking-sane, Luke. And everyone saw it, so that was great. Maddox can eat an entire bag of dicks; I don’t fucking care. Amber almost had to lie to the Mexican government for me, and Becca drove me to the airport and told me not to come back without you. And I flew economy, Luke. Economy. It was awful.”
Luke stared and then barked out a laugh. “What?”
“What to which part? Because I said a lot, and I’ve told you I’m in love with you three times already, maybe four, and you haven’t acknowledged that at all and I’m starting to think?—”
He threw his arms around me, his arms sliding around me tight, holding me exactly how I needed him to.
My god, how I needed this.
