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I shrugged it off. “Used to be someone.”
Luke’s eyes cut to mine. “Still is someone,” he said flatly.
The doctor ignored that and reiterated his instructions of rest and care. “Anything else you need?”
“Uh, actually,” I said. “There is.”
Luke studied me, surprised, waiting.
I smiled at him, then at the doctor. “Sexual health tests. Can we do that here?”
Luke just about swallowed his tongue, and I tried not to smile.
“Yes, of course,” the doctor said. “I’ll have the clinician come take care of that. For one, or both of you?” he asked.
“Both,” I answered before Luke could. I grinned. “Definitely both.”
FIFTEEN
We stoppedby the market and the store on the way back—I’d stayed by the bike while Luke ran into the store—and when we got to the house, Luke helped me inside.
He hadn’t said much, and I got the feeling I was in the doghouse.
I fell onto the lounge chair on the back patio, lifting my knee up carefully, and grabbed his hand. “Hey,” I said. “Are you mad at me?”
“No.”
He was totally mad at me.
“About the tests?”
“A bit of warning would have been nice.”
“I’m sorry. But I just thought, given we were both there, we didn’t need to make any special appointments or make another trip or overthink anything. It’s done now. Those rapid tests are awesome, and we’ll get a text in a day or so. Easy peasy.”
Luke sighed. “I know, I just . . .”
“You just what?”
He sat down on the lounge chair with me. “I just wasn’t prepared, that’s all. I know it’s something we were going tohave to get done eventually, but we haven’t talked about anything like that.”
I took his hand. “Then let’s talk about it. What do you want to know? I thought we were going to see what felt right. Did something change? If you don’t want to?—”
He shook his head. “I want to,” he whispered. “I want to try everything. But I’ve never done anything with a guy before. I know the mechanics of it, and I’ve watched some gay porn. I think I know what I want.”
“You have? Because... well, because I haven’t. Watched gay porn, that is.” Seen plenty with two guys, but there was usually a woman in between them. “We should totally watch some,” I added.
He laughed, looking out at the ocean, but he was clearly embarrassed. “Maybe we should.”
There was definitely something he wasn’t telling me. I gave his hand a squeeze. “What is it?”
He took a second to get his thoughts in order. “Sex with guys is different,” he said, cringing. “With hetero sex, the roles are easier to define.”
Ohhh.
“Like appendage A inserts into slot B kinda thing?”
He barked out a laugh. “Well, yeah. I guess.”
