Page 14 of Tension with the Mountain Man
When Danny's wife arrives to take him home, it's just Tucker and me in the examination room.
"It wasn't your fault," I say immediately.
"I marked that tree as dangerous." His voice is hollow. "If I'd been there…"
"It was your day off."
"That's not an excuse." He finally looks at me, and I see decades of guilt in his eyes. "This is what happens when I get distracted. When I start thinking I can have a normal life."
"Tucker, that's not true."
"I spent yesterday in bed with you instead of checking on my crew." He steps back when I reach for him. "Danny could have died." He cuts himself off, jaw working.
"While you were what? Being human? Having one day where you weren't carrying everyone's safety on your shoulders?"
"Yes." The word cracks like a whip. "That's exactly what I can't afford. I made a promise, Sally. To my brother. To myself. Nothing matters more than keeping them safe."
"And you do keep them safe. Danny himself said you warned them."
"Warnings aren't enough if I'm not there to enforce them." He runs both hands through his hair, agitated. "Christ, I can't even think straight anymore. All I think about is you. Your laugh, your skin, the way you say my name when you come." He stops abruptly, color high on his cheeks.
"And that's a bad thing?" My voice is small.
"It is when people get hurt because of it."
"Nobody got hurt because of us, Tucker. It was an accident."
"There are no accidents in logging. Only failures of prevention." He moves toward the door. "I can't do this, Sally."
"Do what?"
"This. Us. I can't be the man you need and the safety coordinator they need. And they have to come first."
"So that's it? One accident that you couldn't have prevented, and you're done?"
"You don't understand."
"I understand perfectly." Anger flares hot in my chest. "You're scared. Not of the job, but of letting yourself be happy. Of believing you deserve more than constant guilt and isolation."
"Maybe I don't deserve more."
"That's bullshit and you know it."
"Is it?" He turns back, and his smile is sad. "Bronwyn mentioned Vancouver called again. Take the job, Sally."
I feel like he's punched me. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Take the job. Get out of Silver Ridge."
"You're trying to get rid of me?"
"I'm trying to save you from wasting your talent here." His voice gentles. "You're brilliant. You deserve more than a small mountain town and a man who will always put his guilt before your happiness."
"What if I don't want more? What if I want you?"
"You think you do now. But eventually you'll resent me. You'll realize you gave up everything for someone who can't give you what you need."
"And what is it you think I need?"
