Page 79 of Sweet Surrender
“Always but let’s walk. Besides, now it’s your treat. Come on.” He took her hand, leading her out of the clearing. Half an hour later they were sitting in a booth at Ruby’s Diner with a massive slice of cookie dough cheesecake and two forks.
She raised her eyebrow, skeptically. “This was my treat?”
He grinned at her as he speared his fork into the crumbling crust. “Is this not good enough?”
“Well, it’s not gonna give me an orgasm is it?”
“Let’s see, shall we and if it doesn’t then I guess I’ll just have to step in. But it’s really good so…” he trailed off, waggling his eyebrows and she fought a smile. He shoved a forkful into his mouth, moaning in ecstasy. She watched him but hesitated.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I just need a minute. I know it’s only cheesecake, but I haven’t had this since…” she trailed off, realizing she had said too much.
He frowned. “Really?”
She nodded, her cheeks heating. “I know it’s stupid but I didn’t want to eat it…without you.” A tidal wave of emotion rushed through her and tears stung her eyes.What the hell girl, it’s just fucking cheesecake! But it’s not, is it? It’s all the times we had it together, all the conversations and laughs, the memories.As her brain argued with itself, he reached over the table and rubbed her knuckles with his thumb.
“I only ate it without you so I could remember the times we had together, the memories. I felt like it somehow made me closer to you. So it’s not stupid at all,” he said, his expression unreadable. An emotion she couldn’t pinpoint floated in the air between them. Affection? Nostalgia? Something more? Who knew, but it was making her uneasy.
“Distract me,” she demanded, digging her fork into the biscuity goodness. “How are your folks? And your sister?”
He nodded. “Folks are good, they retired to Florida to be near Rachel and they’re enjoying every moment of it. Especially as Rachel just had nephew number three. I really need to take a trip to see them, Uncle Beau has missed a lot recently. Those boys will be driving her crazy but they’re amazing,” he chuckled. Her stomach clenched at seeing his face light up talking about his nephews.
“Do you want kids?” Her question slipped out before she could stop it. He stopped eating, his fork hovering in front of his mouth. He swallowed thickly then shrugged.
“Yeah I do. Someday. I’ve never really thought about it, never met anyone who made me seriously think about it. Except you,” he murmured.
“You know I can’t have them.”
“No Tay, that’s not what I meant.” He sighed, dragging his hand impatiently over his face, bumping his glasses. “You know adoption is totally an option, right?”
Her face heated, she didn’t like talking about this, God knows why she even brought it up? He had this uncanny ability to see into her and have her spill all her thoughts and feelings to him, even her most private, guarded ones.
“I’ve not let myself consider it before. I don’t want to get my hopes up just to have them dashed.”
“Why would they be dashed?”
“Because who’s gonna let me have a kid when I’m single and spend all my time in a bar and have a psycho stalker who-”
He cut her off. “You mean who’s going to let the smart, caring, maternal,selfless,successful businesswoman with a strong sense of right and wrong and a great supportive family unit behind her raise a child?”
She looked down into her lap, unable to meet his eye after his lovely words. “Beau-”
“I’ll come with you to enquire, if you don’t want to go alone,” he said softly. Her chest constricted at the thought of him being there with her through this journey. A small flame of hope flickering before she doused it.
“Ha! How long do you think our fake relationship is going to last, the next eighteen years?”
“Be serious Tay. You can do this. You can raise a child, you’re the best woman I know with the biggest, fullest heart.” He took her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles again. She looked into his eyes, so full of hope and compassion and something else she didn’t want to inspect too closely. She wondered if he was pushing this out of guilt, maybe he felt like he had to right a wrong.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“I know that.”
“We’re not a real couple.”
“I know that too Taylor, shit,” he growled, his jaw clenching as he looked away. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t help you achieve something you want so damn badly. Something you would be incredible at.”
She felt tears prick the backs of her eyes. No one had ever said she would be an amazing mom before. He patted her hand and went back to his cheesecake like he knew that was enough on this topic, knowing she’d hit her limit.
