Page 7 of Revelry
She shook her head, her blue eyes wide. “No, don’t blame yourself. It was different with your dad. You were just a child and—”
I scoffed. “And what, Kat? I watched him hit Mom, then sometimes turn it on me when he was really riled up. I watched him come back the next day with flowers for her and a doll for me then cry and beg and plead with us. You know to this day, I hate Barbies? Just looking at her frozen smile makes me feel sick to my stomach.”
Kat nodded because she did already know that; she knew everything that happened.
“So yeah, I shoulda known better but I didn’t. I just wanted so damn badly to be loved. Then Gary was put in charge of this huge corporate merger and the coke turned into weed, coke and ketamine and God knows what else. He would have these rages that spiraled and this,” I gestured to my face, “was the result of the last one. He knocked me around hard enough to knock some sense into me.”
“Don’t say that. You’re talking shit about my best friend and that’s not okay with me.” Kat said it fiercely but there was a littlepout to her mouth that had me smiling.She’s fierce but loves so deeply, just like me. I took another big sip of wine, pulled at my bun and took in a deep breath of fresh mountain air, feeling myself settle again.
“Anyway, after that I told him I was divorcing him and I agreed not to press charges if he agreed not to contest it, just sign on the dotted line and here I am. I just don’t know what to do now,” I sighed.
“You can stay here as long as you need to figure it out. Stay forever, please?” Kat begged.
I laughed, tapping my knee. “I’m home for good, don’t you worry about that.” I looked away, out at the dark night sky with its twinkling stars, knowing Charlie was up there shining down on us. I nibbled on my swollen lip. “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant, after everything you’ve gone through with Charlie. I’ll never forgive myself for not being there for you through all this.”
“Don’t. You clearly had your own stuff going on.”
I nodded, my guilt not dissipating one iota. “I did, but I could have still messaged you back more. I’ll make it up to you, promise.”
She squeezed my hand before removing it, signaling we were done with the conversation.
“So,” I ventured. “Tell me about the ranch. Do I still need to kick Jack’s ass?”
She sighed, gulping down the rest of her wine. “No, you need to kick mine.”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. She opened her mouth to spill but I held up a finger, pausing her. I hustled back into the house and grabbed the wine bottle from the kitchen and topped up our glasses. Tucking my feet under me, I gestured. “Continue.”
She told me about Jack, the man who had driven drunk when he was eighteen and hit Kat’s mom Sherry, killing her.He’d just been released from prison and come to Redemption Ranch to repay his debt. Despite their traumatic history, he had inadvertently stolen my bestie’s heart. She explained about discovering all the ranch debt after Charlie died then fighting with her sisters. Then she started talking about how useless she was and that’s when I interrupted.
I held up a hand. “Hold up, now I know you’re not talking about my girl like that. You’ve had a lot of shit recently. Your daddied, that’s a lot all on its own. For the man who killed your mom to turn up here, for you to take on everything at the ranch and actually keep it fucking running, is a huge success. Do not put yourself down.”
I couldn’t believe what she’d been going through and I was damn proud of her for handling it like a complete boss. My guilt returned full force and reminded me that I could have been helping her out, but I ignored it when I saw she was about to argue with me.
“No! Okay, so you got a little bit blocked about how to make money, I’m not surprised after everything. There is nothing wrong with that, and needing time to suddenly become this savvy businesswoman who saves the entire ranch? Damn girl, grant yourself some grace!” There was a pause as we stared at each other. “But at least you were getting dicked down,” I snorted.
She spat her wine out, spraying me a little and ruining her own clothes.
“Oh, I was gettingreallydicked down. God he was so good. I miss him.” She dropped her head in her hands, sloshing wine onto the wooden porch. “I fucked it up and I can’t stop thinking about him. I’m always looking for him. I need to be around him, even if he ignores me, the satisfaction I get just being in his presence is intense. And he’s so good with the ranch and the girls and the animals and he’s got such talent with wood.”
“I’ll bet,” I joked, so happy she was well looked after but also having a tiny twinge of jealousy over the good loving she was clearly getting. Gary was usually so coked up that although he came to me, begging for bland sex, he couldn’t even get it up.
She rolled her eyes. “I meant woodworknotwood.But I hurt him and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Tell him.” I sat up straighter, downing more wine. “Say,Jack, I fucked up and I love you. It’s that simple.”
“Oh, sh-shit,” she hiccupped.
“Epiphany!” I guffawed. “You love himsssoooomuch!”
“You’re slurring.”
“You’reslurring, my speech is impeccable,” I shot back, thinking that my pills may have helped the alcohol settle in my system a little too well.
Eventually my eyes began drifting closed and the next thing I knew, my bestie, my ride or die was tucking me into her bed. I tried to protest but it was a pretty weak effort, her bed was so comfy. I had the best sleep of my life.
*
I awoke in the morning, hair everywhere but feeling a thousand percent better about life. I headed downstairs eager to make Kat and the girls breakfast to say thanks for being so amazing but I made it into the kitchen and found one sexy ass man there flipping pancakes.
