Page 116 of Revelry
I nodded sheepishly.
“Well, I’m not surprised. Whenever we did have our brief conversations, he always managed to ask about you in some roundabout way. Like he didn’t want to ask but couldn’t stop himself.”
My heart went all melty over that. Tate didn’t socialize but on the rare occasion he did, he did it with my mom and even asked about me? That had to show he cared, right?
But the problem wasn’t that he didn’t care, it’s that he didn’tlove. And that’s what I needed.
I explained about Tate needing fun, needing to heal and my own need to heal after my trauma. During this part, Cathy gripped my hand, her eyes watery and I didn’t feel like she was just my mom’s partner. I felt like she was family and in this with us.
Mom shook her head. “That man sure did need to learn how to have fun. I always worried about him working so much and never seeing any friends. That’s no way to live when you’re so young. I’ve been worried about him ever since his mama died.”
“It sounds like you’ve spent a lot of time together. And in doing so, you fell in love?” Cathy asked.
I nodded. “He’s a great man. He’s so caring about others, but he hides it behind this gruff personality. He’s passionate and dedicated to animals. He’s overcome so much, working so hard to fight his impulses and he’s become an incredibly caring, loving person despite all the reasons not to. But he’s closed himself off from people. He’s got so much to give to another person, if he ever wanted that…” I trailed off.
“But he doesn’t want that?” Cathy asked.
I glanced at her and shrugged. “I thought he might, but it’s been weeks, and he’s not reached out. I have to admit I havebeen avoiding him. I’m scared that if I see him, I’ll fall at his feet and beg him to love me.”
“Is there something wrong with that?” Mom asked.
Cathy laughed. “Maybe she should preserve her dignity?”
Mom arched a brow at Cathy. “Like you did? You preserved your damn dignity so much that this,” she gestured between them, “almost never happened.”
Cathy rolled her eyes and turned back to me. “Some people are worth losing your dignity over. Some people are hard work and come with baggage so heavy you think the load will never lighten.” She reached across and squeezed Mom’s hand. “But you know who’s worth it. Then you’ll help lighten the load and see them truly shine.”
A lump formed in my throat. Tate had been shining so damn bright. He was worth it, I knew he was, but he was so stubborn sometimes.
“It’s not me that’s the awkward one. And why should I? Just because he saidsorry? Like I haven’t heard that before.”
“He’s not your father. Or Shithead Gary. Tate has never been like either of them, he’s not that kind of man. My only advice is to give him time,” Mom said. “He’ll come around, when he realizes you won’t be here forever, he’ll know. He’ll choose you.”
“I hope so, but I also don’t know if I can do it again. Open myself up to a man who already is so challenging,” I replied sadly. But speaking to Mom and Cathy had helped. They were right, Mom had so much baggage I thought she would never let anyone in, but Cathy had given her the space she needed.
I needed to give Tate some space to mull everything over, but would he change his mind? He still had issues he needed to work through, and he still didn’t want a family.
God, it all felt hopeless.
“Anyway, why are you home? Not that I’m not happy about it.” I glanced between them.
Mom grinned wide. “We’re back to pack up! San Francisco was everything we hoped it would be.” She took a deep breath. “I took the leap of faith, and it was so worth it. Cathy’s business is doing amazingly and I’m running a domestic violence support group.”
My throat tightened. “That’s amazing, Mom. I’m so proud of you,” I rasped.
She nodded, her smile wobbling slightly. “So, we’re back to take a look at the house and see what we want to take with us.” She looked at Cathy and then darted her eyes away. “It does mean that we’ll be selling it. I’m sorry, baby girl.”
I held up my hands. “No, don’t apologize. Thank you so much for letting me stay here. I couldn’t have gotten on my feet without you.”
Cathy brushed a curl behind my ear in a motherly gesture. “What are you going to do next, Gertie?”
“I don’t know. I thought…” Sighing, I buried my head in my hands. “It doesn’t matter.”
“No, tell us.”
“I thought I could…” I took a deep breath, cringing as I revealed my dream, feeling like some silly teenager. “Maybe start my own ice creamery.” I didn’t wait to gauge their reactions, just jumped up, pacing. “But it’s stupid, I know. It’s Tate’s fault really, he told me I could do anything. He believed in me and for some reason, it made me think I could really do it.”
Mom stood up and grabbed my hands in hers. “Youcando it. Who’s going to stop you? Only you, Gertrude Phyllis Hartman.”
