Page 97 of Revelry
Neil hit me with a skeptical look. I got it, he thought I was lying again, and I didn’t blame him, I wasn’t exactly the most truthful last time. And other than a quick session last month we hadn’t caught up properly. It seemed like a lifetime ago, so much had changed but at the same time not much had changed at all. I felt like the shift in me was internal.
“I know how that sounds, but yes.” I glanced down at the magazines on the table which were askew again and although I found it frustrating, I didn’t have quite the same urge to straighten them. I was calmer. I knew it was because of her. I started laughing at the idea that unpredictable Gertrude was the one thing my life needed to gain some calm.
Neil’s eyes widened.
“Sorry,” I apologized with a rueful grin.
“No, don’t apologize. I just haven’t seen you laugh before,” he replied. “Tell me then, what have you been doing?”
“I went to the Halloween party, I made some friends. Befriended Jack, for real this time. I spent Thanksgiving with the Cartwrights and I’m taking part in a Cowboylesque charity performance for the ranch.” I pushed out a breath. “And, I met a woman.”
Neil smiled knowingly. “Is this thefriendyou alluded to last time?”
I nodded.
“Tell me about her?”
“Her name is Gertrude. She used to live next door to me when we were teenagers and she recently came back to town.” I frowned as I thought about when she first turned up, bruised and a little broken.
Neil leaned back on the couch and began to clean his glasses. “What happened just then?”
“What do you mean?”
“Where did your mind take you? It didn’t seem like it was somewhere pleasant.”
I met Neil’s stare. “When Gertrude came home, she had just left her husband. He’d hurt her.” I flinched as her bruised face filled my mind again. “It hurt to see her like that.”
“Did it remind you of your mother?”
“I’d rather not link Gertrude with my mother, if possible.”
“No, I mean, your mother was a shell of herself when your father left. She relied on you so much. This Gertrude has similarities to that. Coming home after a breakup and needing someone to rely on.”
“Gertrude doesn’t rely on me, she doesn’t need me like my mom did.”
“But you still wanted to look after her, didn’t you?”
I shifted uncomfortably because I didn’t like where this was going. Until I thought about it some more. “Actually no. I didn’t want to look after her. I wanted her to leave me alone. I wanted everyone to leave me alone. But she forced her way in.”
Neil chuckled softly. “Sounds like she’s all the way in?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, finally reaching forward and tidying the magazines. Neil immediately knocked the table and made them messy again. But even that didn’t bother me as much as usual. I think I only tidied them to try and avoidhis penetrating stare and question, not because I felt the compulsion to do it.
“I mean it sounds like you really care about her?”
“Well I guess, yeah. She’s my friend.”
“Have you slept with her?”
My cheeks immediately heated like I’d been caught out. “Um, maybe.”
Neil whistled. “Good for you. Your usual hookups involve nameless, faceless women. Not the woman who lives right next door who you’ve formed a relationship with.”
I felt like he was getting at something, I just didn’t know what and it was starting to piss me off. “Your point?”
“Who says I have one? I’m just making observations. Do you love her?”
I choked on nothing. “No.”
