Page 37 of Crazy in Love at the Lonely Hearts Bookshop
Much as she missed him, Nina wasn’t going to let Sam get away with such barefaced cheek. It set a dangerous precedent. ‘Or I could just tell Posy that you lost the passwords and that now you’re blackmailing me over them.’
‘You wouldn’t,’ Sam groused. ‘I never thought you’d go darkside.’
‘At least say please,’ Nina insisted.
Fifteen minutes later, Sam was happily rooting his way through a plate of pastries, and Nina had the passwords to Happy Ever After’s Twitter, Instagram and Facebook accounts. Sam had handed them over with great ceremony like he was passing on the nuclear codes and made a vague promise that he’d show Nina how to upload content to the shop’s website. She immediately logged into the Instagram account, which consisted of one blurry picture of the shop sign, which only two people had liked. With the bar setthatlow, even Nina should be able to raise it a little.
Then Posy poked her head around the office door to say that she and Verity werestilldoing the quarterly VAT return and she was longing for a quick and painless death but she should be done in half an hour tops. In the meantime, it had started to rain, which had scared off any customers.
Soon it would be time to close up the shop and usually Nina would spend this time on HookUpp to try and scare up a date for the evening. But the thought of going on a date, yet another bloody date, with some random guy, made Nina feel so tired and even a little sick to her stomach that she wondered if she was going down with something.
Maybe it was best to figure out her next non-date with Noah. She plonked herself down next to Sam so she could pinch a pistachio macaron and decided to Google a few more non-date options.
Googling ‘high adrenalin date options’ wasn’t really that helpful. As far as Nina knew there were no rollercoasters in the Greater London area. She also quickly ruled out white-water rafting, sky-diving and something called zorbing and poked Sam again.
‘I’m planning a date with a guy, you absolutely positively don’t know him, and he’s into all sorts of daredevil stuff. Like bungee jumping and extreme hiking and whatnot. Any ideas of something I can do with him?’
Sam contorted his face like he was in agony. ‘Like sex stuff?’ he spluttered.
Nina didn’t poke Sam this time but punched him hard enough that he spluttered again. ‘No! As if I would ever ask your advice about sex stuff. Never! Not in a million years!’
It took both of them a little while to recover from this miscommunication. Then Sam stirred. ‘You mean extreme-action sporty stuff that you can do on a date?’ he asked carefully.
‘I guess, but not super sporty,’ Nina replied. ‘Nothing that involves handling balls.’
Sam choked on a profiterole.
‘Get your mind out of the gutter, young man.’
‘Last summer one of my friends had his birthday party at a zipwire place in Battersea Park. They called it a treetop adventure. You all right with heights?’
‘They’re not my absolute favourite thing in the world but I can cope with the rolling ladder if someone stands underneath it,’ Nina said. ‘So I should be all right, shouldn’t I? And this random guy that you totally don’t know would be well up for a treetop adventure.’
‘Oh, Nina, this is not the answer.’ Sam swept his fringe out of his eyes all the better to give Nina a disappointed look. It was quite unnerving to see the face that Sam would wear twenty years from now if he had children and he was disapproving of their lifestyle choices. ‘Posy and Sophie and both my grandmothers say that women shouldn’t change themselves just to please a man. It’s like Feminism 101!’
‘I’m not changing myself,’ Nina protested. ‘I’m just ready to endure an hour or so of discomfort to do something that I know this random guy will enjoy. It’s called being selfless. You should try it, Malteser thief!’
Sam settled back on the sofa with a little sigh. ‘Harsh, Nina.’
‘Dude, you just tried to mansplain feminism to me, you deserved it,’ Nina said and she’d missed this, winding Sam up, so much. She was tempted to try and hug him but he’d probably suffered enough what with all the poking and punching. ‘So, Battersea Park, you say?’
Alas, further investigation uncovered the fact that the place was closed over winter so there would be no zipwire shenanigans among the treetops. She couldn’t help but feel as if she’d dodged a bullet or saved herself from breaking several bones.
‘Any other ideas, then?’ she asked Sam.
He munched ruminatively on a Viennese whirl. ‘I went to a laser tag party in Whitechapel once.’
Lasers. East London. High adrenalinandfashionable. ‘That could work.’ Nina nudged Sam. ‘How come you don’t go to normal teenage parties where you sneak in alcohol and get off with girls?’
‘Because I have a lot of friends with helicopter parents,’ Sam said sadly. He looked sideways at Nina. ‘Actually, I think I’ve got a voucher for the laser tag place – I’m on their mailing list. I could reserve you the tickets, if you like. Just tell me when you want to go.’
‘Oh, that’s very sweet of you.’ Nina narrowed her eyes. ‘Very sweet. Why are you being so sweet?’
‘I’m being selfless.’ Sam echoed her own words back at Nina. ‘Just like you told me to. And also, if you are going to play laser tag then you’re going to have to wear trainers.’ He looked down at Nina’s four-inch heels. ‘Do you even own a pair of trainers?’
‘I have a pair of leopard-print Converse. Will they do?’
Sam closed his eyes. ‘Just promise me that you’ll film it. Please …’
