Page 71 of Crazy in Love at the Lonely Hearts Bookshop
‘I suppose,’ Paul grumbled but Nina knew that he’d do as he was told. He adored Chloe; she was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he didn’t really deserve her.
‘I mean, no one else but Chloe would put up with you,’ she reminded him sweetly. ‘Have I mentioned that lately?’
‘Maybe. Only about fifty times or so because you’re the most annoying sister ever,’ Paul said and Noah was packing his bag, still with the same grim expression on his face and Nina didn’t know why he looked soangry…
Oh!
Oh God!
No!
Surely there was no way he could know. Not yet!
Because Nina needed time to explain this properly, oh so carefully, and once she had done so and reintroduced them, then Noah would see how Paul had changed, was a completely different person from the hateful boy he’d been at school. It would be all right. It had to be all right.
But that was in the future. Not too long in the future but he couldn’t know yet. Could he? Nina said a quick goodbye to Paul and turned her attention back to Noah. ‘Sorry,’ she said, blood rushing in her ears. ‘Boring family drama.’
‘It’s fine,’ Noah said, putting his phone charger into one of the pockets of his holdall. ‘Look, I hate to rush you but you should probably have a shower and I’ll go and see if breakfast is still an option.’
Nina wasn’t that hungry but she flashed Noah what she hoped was a brilliant smile. ‘Lifesaver,’ she said, but he didn’t smile back, just nodded his head and maybe she was reading too much into the taut lines of his face. Maybe he was just one of those people who were really grumpy in the morning until they’d had at least one caffeinated beverage.
There was still so much to discover about each other, Nina mused, as she stepped into the shower. Noah hadn’t even seen her without make-up as she hadn’t had a chance to take yesterday’s slap off. She was tempted to angle her face away from the stream of water and just retouch what she already had on but when she eventually left the en suite she was showered, dressed and fresh-faced.
‘I’m not a natural beauty, all right?’ she thought she’d better clarify to Noah who was sitting stiff-backed in one of the armchairs. She’d obviously taken much longer than she intended. ‘Sorry, was I ages? Were you about to scrounge up some breakfast? Even a couple of pieces of toast would do. I’m not even that hungry, which is weird because normally …’
‘This isn’t going to work,’ Noah said abruptly, one hand held up to cut through Nina’s ponderings on her lack of appetite.
‘Oh, it’s all right,’ Nina assured him. ‘We can easily go out for breakfast. Though I suppose it would really be brunch by now. Have I got time to do a light daytime make-up?’
Noah sighed. ‘I’m talking about us. We’re not going to work,’ he said heavily and with such an air of finality that it was like a door slamming shut in Nina’s make-up-free face.
‘What are you talking about?’ She’d felt heavy and achy ever since she’d woken up, but now there was a leaden weight inside her so it seemed as if all of Nina’s organs were hurtling towards the ground. ‘We’re fine! Last night was great. Better than great and this morning you said …’ It was hard to remember what Noah had said … Then she remembered the nudge of his hips and … ‘You said that you’d missed me while I slept. You wanted to go again!’
He shut his eyes as if the memory of those delicious moments caught between sleep and waking was painful. Nina could hardly look at him. She had this crazy notion that if she did, she might turn to stone like in the Greek legends, but when she did steel herself to look at Noah, her eyes blazing, it was he who looked as if he’d been turned to stone. ‘There’s too much baggage for this to work.’
Nina’s lips twisted. It wasn’t the first time she’d had this conversation with a man the morning after. ‘It’s not like I’m a virgin. I’m nearly thirty,’ she said bitterly. ‘But I haven’t slept with as many men as people think I have. And anyway, even if I’d had sex with a thousand men, that shouldn’t matter. It should only matter that I’m having sex with you.’
‘I’m not talking about that kind of baggage.’ It would have been easier, better, if Noah were red in the face and raising his voice. That was familiar territory for Nina; stand-up rows. But Noah’s face was as dull as the flat tone in which he spoke. ‘I saw his picture flash up when I went to get your phone. It’s been a while, but I’d recognise him anywhere. Paul O’Kelly. He’s your brother.’
It wasn’t a question. Just an absolutely unequivocal statement that Nina couldn’t deny. Couldn’t fudge. Couldn’t come back to at a later date. ‘Yes,’ she answered in a broken whisper. ‘He is and I wanted to …’
Noah held up a hand to silence her. ‘You know, I did wonder if he was your brother. I mean, you do have the same surname and I was sure I saw him outside the soft-play centre when I picked you up the other week, but I told myself I was being silly. If he had been your brother, you’d have mentioned it, but you didn’t so I thought it was just an unhappy coincidence.’
‘I wanted to tell you,’ Nina offered weakly, all of her cold and clammy now that the awful truth had come out when everything had been so perfect. ‘I meant to tell you.’
‘And my grandmother, you remember her, a regular visitor at your aunt’s salon? She was insistent that the girl who used to work there who did her colour was Paul O’Kelly’s sister but I decided that couldn’t be true because she’s always getting things muddled and anyway, Nina would have told me. Just like she would have told me that she’d gone to Orange Hill,’ Noah said. ‘Because you did, didn’t you? You knew me back then.’ His eyes bored into her and Nina dropped her gaze to her feet. ‘When did you figure it out?’
There was an edge to his voice now too: the dullness starting to crack under the sheer weight of Noah’s anger. Not just anger; when she dared a fleeting glance up at Noah’s face she could see hurt, betrayal, confusion all play across his features. ‘After the quiz, when you were walking me to the bus stop,’ she admitted and she shivered because she felt as if she’d been entombed in ice. ‘But … but …’
‘But you never thought to mention it? It just slipped your mind, did it?’
‘I didn’t want to drag up the past, when I knew it was so painful for you.’ Nina held her hand out towards Noah but he took a step back. ‘You don’t know how I’ve tortured myself over this …’ Nina began and Noah smiled. It wasn’t a nice smile.
‘Torture?Like the way yourbrother,’ he spat the word out like it tasted rotten in his mouth, ‘would punch me, hit me, throw things at me, spit at me, the names he would call me … God, I think his words hurt the most.’
‘Don’t!’ Nina clapped her hands over her ears because she couldn’t bear to listen to the catalogue of Paul’s crimes and then she closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see the ugly expression on Noah’s face.
‘Oh, I’m sorry, Nina, am I upsetting you?’ Noah snapped and when Nina forced herself to open her eyes, his expression was grim, resolute, uncompromising. ‘He’s a monster.’
