Page 71 of Wrapped Up at the Vintage Dress Shop
‘I am a prickly person,’ Phoebe said, like that was going to come as a surprise.
‘You are,’ Cress agreed. Then she took the three steps to where Phoebe was sitting and perched herself on the arm of her chair. ‘But you can also be very kind and fun and so, most of the time, I don’t mind if I occasionally get scratched on the prickles.’
Cress rested her hand lightly on Phoebe’s arm. The touch, Cress’s words, formed a lump in Phoebe’s throat, made her eyes sting. ‘It’s not an excuse,’ she said hoarsely. ‘More of a reason, but I didn’t have a good childhood. In fact, I learned from a really early age that you can’t rely on other people because they’re always going to let you down. You can only rely on yourself. I was also moved around a lot, so there was never really an opportunity to make friends. Which is probably why I’m not very good at it.’
There was no immediate reaction and Phoebe cursed herself for oversharing and she was going to get up and goand never look Cress in the eye again but then Cress’s hand tightened on her arm. ‘Thank you for telling me that,’ she said simply, and somehow, that was exactly what Phoebe had wanted her to say.
Opening up to people meant opening up to the possibility of being hurt. Again. Of being abandoned. Again. Of realising that you just weren’t good enough. Again.
But sometimes if you found the right person to be open with then the world didn’t end.
‘It sounds very lonely thinking that you can’t trust anyone . . .’ Cress said.
‘I’m not lonely. Against all the odds, I do have some friends,’ Phoebe pointed out because she did have friends. Or did she just have some people in her life who put up with her?
‘I hope you count me as one of them.’ The hand was taken away and then Cress’s arm curved around Phoebe’s tense shoulders. ‘I’ve hated how things have been between us these last few weeks.’
‘These last few weeks have been . . . not good,’ Phoebe admitted heavily.
‘Although there have been times that have been very good.’ Cress nudged her. ‘We all loved hungover Phoebe. And you know what, you were vulnerable and well, very hungover and you let us in and . . .’
‘Since then, Anita has taken shameless advantage of it,’ Phoebe said with the ghost of a smile. She moved away from Cress’s arm. She felt more in control of herself. ‘Well, I’m glad we had this little chat but it’s getting late . . .’
‘Never mind it’s getting late, now what’s going on with you and Freddy?’ Cress asked baldly.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
There was only one answer. ‘Nothing. Nothing is going on with me and Freddy. There is no me and Freddy.’
‘Have you really broken up or is it just a fight?’ Cress asked delicately.
Rather than clamming up, Phoebe realised that she actually welcomed the chance to talk about this with one of the few people who even knew that she and Freddy had been seeing each other.
‘He rejected me,’ Phoebe recalled bitterly. ‘Said that he couldn’t do it anymore but the thing is, Cress, he knew what I was like. He knew what he was getting into. I’m not a person who feels things very deeply . . .’
‘Well, you certainly feel very deeply about vintage dresses, and what about Coco?’ Cress asked.
At the mention of her name, the lady herself appeared in the doorway and then padded purposefully towards them. ‘What about Coco? Yes, I’m fond of her. I have a responsibility towards her that I take very seriously but I just don’t . . . I’ve never loved anyone. I don’t know how to. I’m not saying that for sympathy. It’s just how it is.’
‘That makes me want to cry.’ Cress did sound as if the tears were about to put in an appearance. ‘I think you’re . . .fondof Freddy too and I know he cares for you.’
‘He might have done once but he undermines my position in the shop. He can’t be my boss and my boyfriend,’ Phoebe stumbled over the last word because she’d never even used thatword in her head to describe Freddy’s role in her life. ‘Did you not hear me when I said he was the one to reject me? He can’t take me as I am. Instead he wants to change me.’
‘Everyone changes though . . .’
‘Not me. I don’t,’ Phoebe stated categorically for the record.
‘OK.’ Cress pulled a face that suggested that she didn’t believe Phoebe’s non-changeable status.
‘What’s the face for?’
‘Well, it’s just we’ve had a very different Phoebe these last few weeks . . .’
‘I went viral. I was cancelled. Is it any wonder that my behaviour’s been a little off . . .’
‘Sophy said that you’d had a heart-to-heart about Johnno and since then you haven’t bitten her head off for at least a fortnight, and you hung out with us on Saturday night and generally you’ve been a little less spiky . . .’ Cress tailed off in the face of Phoebe’s frozen expression.
‘I don’t think I’ve changed that much. But yes there is a subtle difference between my work self and my not-work self,’ Phoebe conceded. That was all she was prepared to give.
