Page 11 of Disappearance at Angel's Landing
What was happening to him? An internal battle raged, pulling him in two directions. One side retreated into the safety of his no-personal-attachments rule, and the other closed the distance between him and Lila.
He’d told her he didn’t like to be touched, and yet he couldn’t seem to stop himself from reaching out. From trying to rid the world of that protective layer she pasted in place, hiding herself from him and everyone else. What the hell did it matter to him how she lived her life? And why couldn’t he get rid of that part of him that wanted to know what had conditioned her to don that pink armor? What didn’t she want him to see?
Branch dropped his hand away from Lila’s mouth as panic flared in those sky blue eyes.
She slid out of his reach, her disguise back in full force. It was terrifying and impressive at the same time, how easily she could switch from one personality to the other. She hiked her pack higher on her shoulders. That bright pink manicure stood out against the drabness of her uniform.
The gray and dark green washed her out. If anything, the small pops of pink only added to her beauty. How hadn’t he noticed that before? Oh, right. Because he was making it his personal mission to never speak to another human being again.
“I’m not seeing signs of a campsite here. We should keep moving. Pick up the killer’s tracks before he gets too far into backcountry.” Lila raised her hands to her hips.
She was going to pretend he hadn’t broken his own rule by touching her. All right. He could pretend, too. Branch growled his approval.
“Oh, good. You’re growling at me.” She moved ahead of him, pack in place, the rope and gear she’d supplied professionally stowed.
His mouth twitched before he could stop it. Her sarcasm and teasing just hit right. He couldn’t explain it.
And he couldn’t explain how the nerves that held him hostage on his descent down Angel’s Landing had lost their intensity now that he had his feet on the ground. His fingers still ached from the pressure he’d kept on the radio. He’d been hanging on for dear life—physically and mentally—but Lila’s encouragement had done something to him. Something he hadn’t expected. It was as though his entire body had tuned to the sound of her voice, and all he’d been able to think about was rappelling as fast as possible to get another dose of her brightness and humor. Her half-hearted death threats and ability to distract him from the darkness in his head.
Without her, he wasn’t sure he would’ve made it down at all, and wasn’t that ironic considering he’d done everything in his power to avoid Ranger Barbie over the past four months? Deep down, he knew why the distance had been necessary. He’d known how dangerous Lila Jordan was before she’d even introduced herself and offered to buy him coffee as a welcome-to-the-team gesture. He’d felt that danger at the top of the cliff and again as he’d allowed himself that brief physical connection a couple minutes ago, a craving to be near her, to give up this damn fight he’d taken on after his divorce. While he had nointention of ever being vulnerable in a relationship again, Lila didn’t deserve his rough side.
“She cheated on me.” He wasn’t sure he’d ever spoken the words out loud before, but he noted the hitch in Lila’s step ahead of him. To her credit, she covered herself well, pushing forward as though he wasn’t spilling his guts. “My ex-wife and my best friend. Guess it’d been happening for a few months. Right under my nose. At the time, I thought we were happy. Nothing seemed off until I caught them together.”
“I’m sorry.” Lila’s elbows tucked closer to her rib cage. She kept her head down to the point he couldn’t read her. Though, if he was being honest, she wasn’t like the other rangers who wore their emotions on their sleeves. Even Risner gave away his moods before he opened his mouth. But not Lila. She was an impenetrable force of nature. “Some people’s birthstone is crystal meth, and it shows.”
“You’re not wrong.” Damn this woman. It wasn’t enough she felt she had to empathize with him, but she had to go and try to make him laugh. Why did she insist on clawing under his skin when he wanted nothing but to disappear? To stay in the dark rather than chase those flashes of spark she set off inside him. “Worse part was, I found out later she was pregnant at the time I walked in on them. With my baby.”
“You have a kid?” Her shoulders tensed as though she intended to turn around to face him, but Lila kept hold of herself. Better than he was doing, that was damn sure.
“No.” That single word was all he would say about it.
Shade cast over them as they kept to the base of the mountain, but it was that permanent inner chill that refused to let up. It was windier here in the valley, setting the surrounding weeds and trees in motion, erasing evidence from the dirt with a simple gust. It’d take a miracle for them to pick anything up from their killer.
Branch forced one foot in front of the other, fighting that cavern of hollowness in his chest. “She chose not to keep it. Said she didn’t want anything to tie herself to me after the divorce.”
And there’d been nothing he could do. Nothing he’d said had swayed his ex to change her mind. She hadn’t given him a chance. While they hadn’t talked about starting their family yet due to their separate careers, to have the potential taken from him without warning had sent him spiraling.
“Why are you telling me this?” Lila’s voice softened, telling him this was the woman he’d glimpsed on the trail yesterday afternoon. The one who’d realized their victim had been murdered, who’d identified the killer’s escape and who’d surprised him with the ins and outs of climbing down the cliff face. The real Lila.
In that moment, Branch wanted to see her face. To memorize every centimeter and commit it to memory in case he never got the chance again. This was a rare occurrence that deserved to be remembered, like a comet that only orbited the solar system every few hundred years. “Because I didn’t like the look in your eyes when I snapped at you. Like I’d hurt you. I don’t want you to think… You don’t deserve my anger.”
Lila slowed her tread through the scrub brush. Her shoulders rose on a strong inhale as she swiped at her face. “As much as I appreciate that, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. We’re not friends. We work together. It’s not your job to manage my feelings.”
Oh hell. Was she crying? His heart threatened to beat straight out of his chest. “Lila, look at me.”
Tears glittered in her eyes as she turned to face him.
“Why are you crying?” Something violent tore through his chest at the sight, and he wanted nothing more than to kick his own ass for putting those tears in her eyes. One step. That was all it would take to ease that animal inside of him demanding hefix this. He fought the urge to capture a rogue tear trekking down her face. There was a reason he hadn’t opened up to anyone since his divorce. Because of this, right here. Having his pain reflected back at him was akin to falling to his death, slow and unbearable.
“Because I’m mad you had to go through all that, and it’s illegal to kill people, and that shit is frustrating.” Lila whipped her hands down from her face, rolling her gaze to the sky to dry the last of her tears.
Okay. That was cute. Her frustration on his behalf seeped into him, a wave crashing against the shore and nearly knocking him under the current.
Ranger Barbie wasn’t all plastic as he’d been led to believe. She had feelings, and right now, she’d chosen to take on a pain that didn’t even belong to her so he didn’t have to feel it alone.
Branch took that step, putting himself in her personal space. Hints of her shampoo slapped him in the face on a gust of wind ripping through the canyon. Light and invigorating, it challenged his senses when most everything had gone numb since his divorce. Just like her. The effect awoke sensations he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in a long time. Not only had this pink nightmare barged into his life uninvited, she’d somehow convinced him she was essential to coming back to the land of the living. “It’s not your job to manage my feelings, either, but I appreciate the effort.”
Her brows, a few shades darker than her bleached hair, drew together as though the idea of taking her own advice had never been spelled out for her. The tears dried, and all that was left was a pool of confusion in those sky blue eyes. “You really know how to give off mixed signals.”
