Page 40 of Memory of Murder
I wanted to scream then, still do now whenever I think about it.
No matter that I preferred he didn’t go with that company, it was unfair.
At the time Eve was still avoiding me, which was just as well. I wanted nothing to do with her or her lowlife fiancé. Carin hadn’t returned. I wondered if she did come back whether she would take Eve’s side in all that had happened. At that point I didn’t trust anyone to be who they claimed to be. How could Neil and I have been friends with those two for so long and not have seen the duplicity they were capable of?
I knew then that I would never forgive them. Never.
I wish I could have told Neil about the other, but I feared there would be terrible repercussions. The worry there would be physical violence if he ever learned what had happened was a true concern. Although Neil and I didn’t have a gun in the house, I felt as if he would get one if he learned that awful truth. I could never tell him. It was better if he didn’t know. We just had to move on with our lives and not look back. The law firm in Crystal Lake had been pushing hard to have Neil come on board when he graduated. It was a reputable, long-standing firm. The offer was a generous one. There was no reason not to take it. The potential for the big leagues wasn’t as great, but it would work. As long as we had each other, what else really mattered?
I was certain I would feel much better when all of that was behind us. I had a terrible feeling about it. I recognized that we couldn’t trust the people we thought were our friends. And I also understood that they would never want the things I knew to be revealed. Everyone had their secrets. Some more than others, and the knowledge of those secrets made me very nervous.
I made the decision to focus on the future and pretend I didn’t know what those evil so-called friends were capable of. School was about to start back, so that would occupy much of my time. I had you to get ready for the baby and the wedding. Neil had finally agreed to something far more low-key. I was glad because I just wanted to be happy and settled and not draw a lot of attention to ourselves. It sounds strange, I know, but I thought I needed to stay very small so they would ignore me and the things I knew.
I read once that the universe gives back to you what you put out to it. With that in mind, I focused on being extra kind to all. I thought good thoughts most of the time. I had hoped that attitude would get me through until we were safe again.
Apparently I was wrong to assume the threat to us would just go away.
I wish I didn’t have to be so cryptic as I write this. I would very much like to spell out all that I know for sure. That would make finding the rest much easier. But I don’t dare. I’m in prison, so nothing—not even my body—is private and certainly not safe.
I have to be careful…and should you ever take up this challenge to find the truth, you should be very careful too.
Chapter Fifteen
Crystal Lake
Saturday, July 12
Jones Residence
Maplewood Lane, 9:30 a.m.
Anne had expected breakfast to be awkward.
Jack had already been up and in the shower in his room when she woke up. There were no adequate words for how relieved she was that she had been alone in her own room when she woke. Not that there had been a single regret—at least on her part, but she’d felt a little embarrassed. Her neediness had been more than obvious, and he’d been so attentive…and so amazing.
Trying not to swoon with the memories, she had taken a shower—though she had wanted a long hot soak so badly—and hurriedly dried her hair. She had chosen to wear the black tee. It felt weird wearing jeans that hadn’t been washed, but there was no way to change that now. Since she’d forgotten to grab a pair of sneakers at the store, she was stuck with wearing the loafers. They were fairly comfortable, but she was a sneakers girl.
Then Jack had knocked on the connecting door, and she’d been dazed and out of sorts just seeing him. They had stopped for breakfast at a local diner. He’d carried the conversation as they’d eaten. She had managed the occasional nod or hummed agreement. Then they’d gotten back into the rental car and driven to Barrington to see if Carin Carter Wallace was home.
Whoever answered the intercom at the gate had said she wasn’t, so from there they’d driven back to Crystal Lake to the home of Detective Harlan Jones.
Anne suspected he would not be happy about their visit on a Saturday morning, but she was immensely thankful for diving directly into the investigation. Even at breakfast, Jack had kept the conversation focused on what they had discovered so far and what he hoped to accomplish going forward.
The prospect of potentially discussing last night had been terrifying. It had been so long since she’d dealt with a morning after, and she felt completely off balance.
Not that it hadn’t been awesome, she considered again. It was completely amazing. Jack had made her experience things she had not known were possible. She’d lost count of the times he had made her…well, feel really, really good.
The first thing she’d wanted to do this morning was to call Lisa and tell her all about it. Except she couldn’t with him in the next room and the connecting door ajar. Not to mention that talking about it to another person would equate to it being real. Last night had not been real—as in some sort of declaration of a personal connection or the start of a relationship.
It was just something that happened at the end of the day between two people involved in an intense situation.
That was it. No big deal.
Except she still felt warm inside this morning. She felt…
Stop. The fact was that they were together because of his job. It wasn’t about anything personal. When the investigation concluded he would go back to Chicago and she would go home…to work.
Funny how the work she loved suddenly felt lacking.
