Page 25 of So Worth More
Jumping straight in the shower to warm up and then climbing into bed, I crashed hard. My spinning thoughts followed me into sleep and I dreamt of Andy, waking erect and confused before my alarm usually went off.
I needed to get out of my head, but I couldn’t just head off to the gym, I had to work. Which was probably the last place that I wanted to be after yesterday. Realizing that I’d forgotten to charge my phone, I plugged it in and sat thinking about what I needed to do.
Things needed to change, I knew that. My reaction to Andy’s confession would hurt him, but it caused me serious anxiety. That wasn’t normal and I knew that. I needed help, preferably of the professional kind. I also needed to apologize properly to Andy. He meant more to me than he could know, and doing a vanishing act like I had would cause him pain. That was the last thing I wanted.
Picking up my laptop, I sat at my kitchen table with my second coffee and searched for therapists. I couldn’t undo the past but I could make changes so that my future wasn’t filled with meaningless hookups. Getting help to process what’d happened to me, the level of betrayal that I’d suffered through, could only help every aspect of my life. I’d taken a lot of anger from my childhood into my adult life, so maybe the therapist could work on that, too.
It didn’t take long to find one that did an initial assessment over a video call. I sent an email asking for an appointment. Putting the laptop away, I checked my phone, grumbling when I noticed that I hadn’t turned it on while it charged. Switching it on, I had a couple of missed call notifications but no messages, until a text came through from Andy.
Reading the message quickly, I took a few minutes to formulate a reply. I didn’t want it to be weird, and deep down, I was so beyond happy that he loved me. It all came down to the fact that I thought he deserved better than me. I was a mess. Maybe though, I could give him a little hope that I could get over this. Show him that he meant something to me so he wouldn’t give up.
Tapping out my reply, I breathed a sigh of relief. Before I put down my phone to finish getting ready for work, an email from the therapist’s office came through with the offer of a lunchtime call to discuss my therapy needs. I almost laughed, but that reaction came from a father who didn’t believe in discussing feelings. I’d neglected looking after my mental health for too long, but now I had someone to be healthy for.
***
Any lingering awkwardness did eventually ease over the day. Finally, I felt like I’d done right by Andy. His gentle smiles throughout the day buoyed me through my assessment with my new therapist, Dr. Arnold, who was a no nonsense woman in her fifties and specialized in relationship issues therapy. I’d blushed several shades of scarlet when she applauded me for turning to counseling for my issues. “Identifying a problem now is so healthy, William!”
Andy seemed a bit put out that I’d gone out to lunch with James, but James was meeting a date, and I was backup in case the guy didn’t show. I also had my appointment and wasn’t ready to share my therapy journey yet. Baby steps.
Working out without Andy around was strange and I missed him being there to ease the tension between the others. Pete and Henry I kind of got along with, but Brad seemed pissed at them both and I couldn’t figure out why.
Henry wanted us all at the bar after; even Andy was coming, for some news that he had. There was no way I was going until I’d soothed some tempers. It amused me to be taking Andy’s usual role, but Brad looked ready to lay Henry out.
Dressing after my shower in a black short-sleeved button up and black jeans, I took the chance to pull Brad aside.
“Everything okay, dude?” I didn’t think he was going to answer, or if he did, that I was going to get the brush off, but it seemed that Brad didn’t have an issue with me because he started speaking after a minute.
“Not really. I know you were busy at the cabin with Andy, especially after he was hurt, but you only saw some of how that poor girl was treated. That wasn’t even the worst of it.” He looked furious and I got it, I really did. Gemma had grown on me. I think a lot of the time I’d seen her through Henry and Pete’s filters.
“That bad?” I winced. “I tried to include her, and she was so sweet with Andy when he was hurt. Personally, I have nothing against her. Sure, I didn’t want her to come at first, but that was more because of Henry’s bitching and how much Pete doesn’t like her.”
Brad still looked angry, but now I knew where it was coming from, and I could sympathize.“It was more the attitude of Henry. Pete, I get. He’s in love with Henry and crazy jealous.”
That was new information. “Gem knows how Pete feels, too. She’s young and is threatened by the bond those two have. Thing is, there wouldn’t be a problem if she felt secure in what she’s got with Henry, but he always has one foot out the door,” he grumbled and I could see his point. If Gem felt that her relationship was solid then she wouldn’t feel like Pete had a chance with Henry. He must be giving off some vibes that she was picking up.
“Poor Gem. Never thought I’d say that.”
Brad let out a chuckle. “Never thought I’d agree. I love Henry and Pete, they’ve been great to me and Dylan, but this whole mess isn’t fair on the girl.”
“Well, I’m on the same page as you, and I’m sure Andy is too.”
“How is Andy, by the way? This week’s been crazy with us taking Monday off, so I haven’t had a chance to check in.” Brad switched gears quickly, but that’s what I liked about the guy. People might’ve been quick to write him off as dumb, being an ex boxer, but the guy was sharp, and really cared about his friends.
“He’s doing a lot better, managed to drive a bit yesterday and today, but it leaves him sore after. I think he’s coming tonight, but he can’t drink on the painkillers they gave him.”
Brad nodded. “Good, hopefully he’ll be back with us next week then.”
***
“Gem and I are over,” Henry announced after we were all settled with drinks in our usual booth. He looked relieved rather than cut up about it, and Pete looked sick, like the guilt of being happy about it was eating him up inside.
“What happened?” Andy took one for the team and asked the question we all wanted answering.
“You guys saw how we were at the cabin, well, when we got back, there was a fight.” Brad made a harumph noise which made me think that it wasn’t when they got back, more like in Brad’s car. “She ended it,” Henry reluctantly admitted. “She also wanted to thank you, Will and Andy, for inviting her to the cabin and making allowances for her. Just for basically being nice guys.”
He laughed, which was odd in the strained atmosphere. “She also told me to tell you guys that she ‘ships it,’ whatever that means.”
Andy let out a startling cackling laugh, “That’s amazing! Is it okay if I text her? Can I get her number? She was so nice to me, I want to thank her,” he asked cautiously and got a quick, “Whatever,” from Henry.
