Page 27 of So Worth More
“Well, yes it does look bad, but if it’s the same guy I saw him help, then he might just be a friend or something. The kid looked really out of it.” Brad raised an eyebrow and carried on, “Will cares about you. He wouldn’t do that, I’m sure of it. If it turns out that he did, then my friendship with him is over. I hope he’s better than that.”
A prickle of shame made its way through me. Why had I been so quick to think the worst of Will? It’d been my automatic thought. I needed to stop taking baggage from other relationships around. Of course there’d be a reasonable explanation for what I’d seen that didn’t mean that Will was about to leap into bed with another guy. Not right after I’d confessed my feelings.
“Nah, you’re right. There’s a reason. I’ll head on out now and call him when I get home.” I got up to leave, dropping a kiss on Brad’s cheek. “Thanks, Daddy Bear.”
“No problem, Baby Bear. Get home safe, okay? And check in.” The others waved and I left, relieved to be away from the tension surrounding them. I couldn’t see Brad staying much longer either.
Not up to walking and unable to drink, I’d taken my car. Getting back to my apartment didn’t take long, so I got ready for bed before calling Will. That part of me that was still doubting him didn’t expect an answer, but after only a couple of rings he picked up.
“Hey, Andy. Shit! I was going to text. Are you still at the bar?” Smiling at the tinge of panic in his tone, I said, “No, I’m home now. Just wanted to see where you went. I, uh, saw you with that guy outside.”
“Did you see Max throw up, too? Shit, that was nasty.” I could hear the distaste in his voice and picture the wrinkle in his nose as he screwed up his face. “Thought he was going to puke in my car! His roommate wasn’t impressed when I dropped him off.” He chuckled. “Not my problem now, though. He’s going to feel it tomorrow.”
“Not going to lie, I, uh, thought he was maybe a hookup.” I said hesitantly, wanting to be fully honest with Will. “Brad said there’d be an explanation. I feel really bad I jumped to the wrong conclusion. Only, I saw you hug him and put your arm around him…..” My voice trailed off.
“I can see where you got that idea from, then,” his tone was gentle, “Y’know I wouldn’t do that to you right? Hell, I haven’t even noticed another person that way since the day we met.”
“Seriously?”
“Deadly serious. Even when you were shooting down my ideas and messing around with our desk.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’m getting my shit together, Andy. I want us to be together but I have a whole lot of hang ups, and I want to deal with them first, okay? Can you hold out a bit longer?”
“Absolutely.”
Twenty Two - Andy
Iwoke up on Saturday with the biggest smile on my face. The call with Will had done a lot to really clear the air. He told me he was starting therapy for some of the issues he had with commitment and relationships. Knowing that he’d been badly hurt, I thought that it was a great idea. The therapy that I’d received from the group I went to had helped me out of a bad place when we lost mom, so I was a supporter of it. I was proud of him for making that decision, and told him so. His descriptions and stories of Dr. Arnold were hilarious. They really seemed to have bonded on their video call.
There wasn’t much for me to do around the apartment and I realized I hadn’t seen my sister in a while. She came over and brought lunch from the bakery on the corner, so she was officially my favorite person, at least until my jeans didn’t fit properly any more.
Spending the day being coddled because of my leg wasn’t a bad way to pass the time. Josh came over after soccer and made dinner for us all, distracting Abby when she got a little overbearing. I loved them dearly but it was a relief to have them out of my space.
Facing an interrogation squad was probably easier than dealing with Abby when she wanted to get info. I’d told her, with as few details as possible, about the cabin and my accident. We’d discussed the Henry and Gem situation a bit, as I tried to avoid all things Will-related. Without having anything else I wanted to share, because I was not telling her that I’d slept with Will again, I turned the focus onto her current projects.
One thing I’d neglected to tell Abby about was my haircut from the doctor at the clinic. Abby laughed until she cried over my mortification. I even caught Josh trying to cover his amusement over it.
Successfully managing to avoid talking about Will all day was a challenge. I barely mentioned sharing a room with him. I definitely didn’t talk about sharing a bed, and Will looking after me became a group effort instead. Abby and Josh left and my secrets were intact.
I hated lying; even the omission felt like a lie, but it was going to take a lot for Abby to see Will in a good light. I had time to sort that out while he got himself together, though.
***
October melted into November and before I knew it, December was about to begin. Yet Will and I were stuck in a strange sort of holding pattern. Gone were the hangouts we enjoyed before the cabin trip. We were rarely alone together except at work where we couldn’t really talk properly. Will would make excuses to leave if I caught him unexpectedly, or would invite other people to join us. Pete had ended up at a movie that I tried to turn into a date. Brad joined us for coffee. I soon got the message and only arranged group outings after that.
There was none of the casual intimacy that we shared before we slept together. Instead of moving forward in our relationship, we’d taken steps back. I’d thought it would take a couple of weeks, and then maybe we would go on some dates or something. Nothing like that happened, though.
Irritated and lonely, I’d tried calling Will to chat after a couple of weeks, but he was always too busy for me. My texts were replied to with a vague, “soon,” or my favorite, “not yet.” So, after a few weeks, I’d given up. I’d tried to keep him in my life but he seemed to be slipping away from me. It was a strange time for me. I stopped spending time with the guys from the gym too, since all they did was ask questions about what was going on with Will when he couldn’t hear them.
The anniversary of my mom’s accident hit me hard and other than a brief visit with my twin who was also struggling with her own grief, I spent it alone. I lit a candle for my mom and talked to her about all that had changed since the last anniversary.
Late that night as I was curled up in bed, I received a text from Will that helped, but was far from enough. I’d been drowning in grief all day on my own, not wanting to lean on Abby and Josh, and unable to reach out to the guys because of the recent distance. I wanted Will to give me more than what I’d got.
Will: Thinking of you today *heart emoji*
He’d apologized when I’d seen him in the office for not sending the text sooner and I’m sure he felt my frustration, though I muted most of my anger. A text wasn’t what I’d wanted. I’d wanted the support of my friend, at the very least.
