Page 22 of For All It's Worth
Before I could put that into a text, Charlie called me. I moved away from the counter into the bookstore so I could hear him better.
“I have a crazy idea,” he said before I could even say hello. “Why don’t you hire me?”
I let out a laugh, startling an older couple browsing, and Charlie took it the wrong way, his tone gruff and mildly affronted. “I mean, it’d help you out…”
“Charlie, wait. I was laughing because I literally just thought the same thing.”
“Seriously?” Doubt was heavy in his tone.
“Sure. You want a job? Because there’s one here for you if you do.”
There was a pause at the end of the line, and when he spoke I could hear the smile in his voice. “Yeah, that’d be great. Just what I need. You’re a lifesaver, Max. Thanks.”
“Nah, you’re saving us.” There was a slightly awkward pause. “Okay then. Let me look at the roster and I’ll text you when to come in, okay?”
“Sounds good. Are you sure?”
I hated the thread of worry in his voice. He’d done his time in rehab, he’d more than fulfilled our little bargain, so as far as I was concerned, it was back to normal for us. What was he worried about? That I’d reject him again? Deciding not to tease, and reassure him instead, I told him in a firm voice, “I’m sure. I’d love nothing better than to work with you.” Then, more gently, “I’ve missed your face.”
“Missed you, too.”
Was it just me or was there more weight to the words there? A depth of feeling in his tone that hadn’t been there before? I shook that idea off, I had to be thinking more of it than was there…right?
We hung up and I turned to give Kristen the great news but she’d obviously been listening in. “You sure that’s a good idea? Thought you said he wasn’t that great with people.”
I brushed that aside since she was right. Charlie had a short fuse at times. “He’ll be fine. He’s smart and will pick up stuff quickly. He’s helped clean the coffee machine before so he knows how to treat it nicely so it behaves.” Thinking of other plus points in his favor, “He helped set this place up so he knows where everything is, too.”
Kristen looked at me thoughtfully. “I guess we can always stick him on coffee making and have someone who smiles on orders.”
I laughed, imagining Charlie dealing with some of our regulars, the sound bubbling out of me while Kristen gaped at me.
“You know, that’s the first laugh I’ve heard in ages, so Charlie’s already helping.”
Smiling at her because I knew she had a point, I went to head back to the office since it was quiet and picked up the roster for us to work on before the next rush.
The bell rang over the door as another customer came in and I flushed when I recognized him. Dr. Daddy, as I’m sure he’d heard me call him last time he was here, was one of our regular customers. He was always polite and tipped well. He didn’t go out of his way to chat, being more of a listener than a talker, but he was in Books & Biscuits five days a week, so I couldn’t ask for a better customer. He didn’t just come in for coffee, he asked for us to order in books for him, which is how I’d found out that he was a therapist, having gotten his doctorate a couple of years before.
He was taller than me, which wasn’t hard since I stood at I five-eight. Muscular, with gray hair in a bun and a beard. Tattoos ran up his arms, disappearing into the rolled cuffs of his white button-down shirt. He wore black jeans and biker boots, a strange mix of formal and casual that worked for him. He was beyond hot, and gave off an authoritarian vibe. I wasn’t sure if I had a crush on him, but something about him drew me in, enough that I wouldn’t mind getting to know him better.
When he came over to order he would spare a little time for conversation, giving a hundred percent of his focus to you while he talked. At times I found it unnerving to have all of his attention like he knew more about me than what I’d shared.
There was no way I could cope with trying to talk to him while wondering if I’d let his nickname slip since I’d likely do it again. It was Denver who had coined the name and it had stuck to the point that I hardly remembered his actual name.
Kristen looked at me as if asking, “Do you want to serve him?” and I answered by heading out back to the office, throwing him a wave. Not before I heard her ask, “How are you today, Dr. Cross?” and not Dr. Daddy as I’m sure slipped out when I’d spoken to him. My cheeks burned with mortification and I pressed my hands against them to cool them down. My gut churned at the thought of my slip up. Kristen hadn’t heard me, so I couldn’t be sure, and it wasn’t like I could ask him.
While it wasn’t the first time I’d possibly used a nickname for a customer instead of their real name, it was the first time I’d done it to one I wouldn’t mind seeing out of my work environment.
My plan was just to avoid him as best as I could until he’d forgotten all about it or decided to go somewhere else for his daily coffee. I was screwed if he wanted something specially ordered because I usually dealt with that myself since no one else knew the system as well as I did. Kristen had resisted my efforts to teach her, not wanting to take on the responsibility.
I waited in the tiny office until I was sure he was sitting comfortably with his coffee and whatever pastry he’d decided on for the day. He was a creature of habit and absolutely stunning to look at. Kristen teased me mercilessly about it, but I think she was pleased that I’d noticed anyone that wasn’t Charlie since he’d been on my mind so often over the last few months.
When Charlie had been doing better, it was easier to hide my feelings for him. There were clear lines when he’d been in control of his life. When that control had slipped, my worry for him had been unbearable and had bled over into other areas of my life. I’d let things slip, like paying vendors or making up schedules, to check up on him. It’d been obvious to anyone that wasn’t Charlie that I’d acted out of love rather than friendship.
I’d been in love with him for as long as we’d been friends, probably from our first day at school together, but I had no reason to hope that we would ever be more than that.
Over the years I’d tried to have serious relationships and had thought I’d felt something for each of those guys, but I think I’d subconsciously held parts back from them since they weren’t Charlie.
Books & Biscuits had kept me pretty busy, so it’d been a while since I’d had a relationship, my last one having ended just after I’d opened. The stress and long hours had pulled us apart and he claimed I wasn’t fully emotionally invested in him or making things work. It didn’t take me long to pick myself up, so I guess he had a point. Since then I’d been sticking to quick flings or one-nighters to take the edge off. Not very satisfying, but it did the job.
