Page 30 of For All It's Worth
The movie ended and we tried to act normally. “The book was better,” I said firmly.
“You would say that,” he shot back.
“So would you if you’d actually read the book. You’ve still got my copy!”
He held his hands up. “I might have let Matty borrow it,” he said sheepishly.
I slapped his arm but laughed. Just like that, we settled back into something more like a normal us.
I wasn’t ready to confess how I felt. The break had been good for me in some ways. It’d given my feelings perspective, and if I was sure that he felt the same, I would make a move, ask him on a date, or even kiss him to see if we have the explosive chemistry I think we could have. Except it wasn’t the right time. Charlie was still fragile, still finding his feet in his new normal.
He just needed time to see that I was who he really needed, as his best friend and his lover. I wanted to be everything to him like no one else had been before. He needed to trust that I knew what he needed to be happy and healthy, but we weren’t there yet.
The break brought out some side of me I hadn’t known was there. There was this urge to protect Charlie that was stronger than I’d ever felt before.
“Want to put on the sequel?”
“Sure.”
As I watched him pretend to focus on the film on the screen out of the corner of my eye, I made a silent promise to him to be what he needed as soon as he was ready.
