Page 51 of For All It's Worth
Pocketing my phone again despite the buzzing, I went inside to tell Henry my news and hopefully burn off some of this nervous energy.
An hour later, I’d gotten in five miles on the treadmill and was lifting some smaller weights as Henry hovered over me.
He’d been ecstatic over my date news and had hooted with laughter over the Lucifer pic that I’d gotten permission to show him. Our family chat was still going insane over Andy’s present, with his twin, Abby, cooing over all the pictures Andy kept sending of the slightest thing that Lucifer did as he settled into his new home. The guy was gaga over his pet. Will had knocked that out of the park.
Will had messaged again to ask me to cat sit so he could take Andy out of town after Andy’s birthday party so they could have a proper break. They weren’t coming to family dinner this week so the cat could adjust to the apartment and Andy was even working part of his week at home so Lucifer wouldn’t be alone.
The pride at being asked burned hot inside me since it showed so much trust in me that I wasn’t sure that I’d earned. I’d said yes and made a mental note to discuss it with Evan at our next appointment.
“Charlie?” Henry asked, breaking into my thoughts. My eyes swung to his. “How did you know you were into guys?”
His question was so abrupt that my grip slipped on the weight and it thudded onto the mat-covered floor, thankfully missing my feet as I jumped out of the way.
Henry looked anxious and his personal question had thrown me for a loop. We got on great as roommates and as boss-employee, but we didn’t do personal things like this. I’d hesitated to tell him my date news since I wasn’t sure that we were the type of friends that discussed feelings like that.
“I, uh…” I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. There were too many things to explain to him if he was questioning. “You know it’s a spectrum, right?”
“What d’you mean?”
“Well, take Will for example. He’s pan. It’s the person, not their parts, that he’s into but sometimes he will be more into guys, other times women, y’know?”
Henry nodded, but didn’t look completely certain.
“I’ve always been into men. I’ve never had a crush on a woman.”
“Never?”
I shook my head. “Never. Max did, though. Only certain types of women and very rarely. He’d never do anything about it, I don’t think. But it’s okay to discover this about yourself. You’re questioning stuff?”
Henry pondered this for a moment before flushing and nodding, “So it’s normal to find a guy attractive after never being into guys before?”
Placing a hand on his shoulder, I tried to reassure him. “It might just be the person. It could be that type of guy. Could be all guys, and you’ve just become open to it. People change all the time. Can you honestly say you are the same person you were at twenty compared to now?”
Henry smiled. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m not the same. Been through too much shit not to have changed.”
“Exactly. So what does this mean? Are you going to try and date a guy? Go for a hook-up or something?”
“I dunno, I think I just need to sit with this a bit. I thought it was just one guy, but I’ve noticed others since then, so maybe he woke something up in me?”
“Possible. Just be careful okay, there are a lot of weirdos out there. I know you have a ton of gay friends but if you need someone to talk to….” I trailed off.
“Thanks, man. Means a lot.”
After finishing up my workout, I headed home, texting with Max the whole way about our plans.
I didn’t think that sleep would find me as I lay in bed that night, but exhaustion from the work day, all the emotions I’d gone through, and a heavy workout had me falling asleep in seconds with a smile on my face.
