Page 18 of For All It's Worth
“Could you tell me when you fell in love with Max?”
It felt like my heart had stopped. The whole world stopped.
Love?
In love with Max?
Was that what that feeling was?
“Ah, I apologize. I assumed that your feelings for Max were romantic. Some of what you’ve said in our sessions gave me a different impression of the situation. I apologize, I seem to have spoken out of turn.” Evan looked contrite.
I reached for the bottle of water on the side table next to me, opening it and gulping down almost half of it, trying to get myself together.
Evan waited patiently for me.
“I didn’t realize.” The words escaped me without permission.
Evan allowed me to sit and think for the rest of the session, breaking me out of my thoughts just before the end of the hour to check in with me. Did I feel like drinking? Was I going to be okay? Did I want a session sooner than the start of next week? A phone call check-in later?Noanswered just about all of those questions. I was not okay, but I didn’t want to drink and just needed time to work through my feelings.
Outwardly I assured him that while I was shocked, the last thing I wanted to do was drink. If I did that, I had no hope of a second chance at friendship with Max, and not a single chance of anything more.
Did I want anything more?
I think that I did, but did Max feel the same? Was I willing to risk everything to find out?
