Page 86 of For All It's Worth
“It’s the only door that’s closed.”
We talked while we ate, and the scene was domestic and comfortable. We’d done this kind of thing a hundred times before, but it was different now. The changes were clear in the warmth of Max’s gaze and his foot against mine under the table like we had to be touching even in such a small way.
Lucifer, still in a snit with me, had decided to sit in the chair next to Max so he could be petted and loved on.
When Andy had sent pictures of Lucifer in the family group chat, I couldn’t believe that Will had gotten the cat for Andy, but the beast was cute. When it wasn’t sulking, anyway.
Once we’d eaten and cleaned up the kitchen, we settled on the sofa, another thing from Andy’s old place, to stream something. Max loved true-life stories and documentaries so it was easy enough to find something to watch.
Snuggled up with Max might have been my favorite place to be. The earlier argument was forgiven if not entirely forgotten; we just needed to communicate better without getting upset.
Although things between us were back to normal by the time we decided to go to bed, by unspoken agreement there wasn’t anything other than lazy kisses between us before we drifted to sleep with me spooning Max.
The emotional closeness was all that was necessary and far more important to me than just getting off.
It rocked me to my core that I now had something so much more valuable to me than sex. I’d give up sex, give up anything, for nights just holding him close.
