Page 2 of His Rejected Alpha Mate
“I can see Ryder?”
“Well, yeah, but he’s called Kade now. That’s his new identity.”
Kade. Just like the brother I’d lost. I preferred his new name, and it suited the memory I had of him, with the same wild red brown curls that my brother, Kade, had once had. Desperate longing filled me. I needed to be with my son. Whatever his feelings about his father, Rincoln was still his dad, and we’d been happy for so many years. Kade had to be hurting right now, and it’d been so long since we had seen each other.
My own emotions were all over the place. I didn’t know what to think or feel now that the nightmare of the last five years was finally over. All I really knew was that I needed to hold my son. Five years was too long with zero contact. Rincoln had stolen enough from us.
I stood, mentally compiling a list of what I’d need to do and pack. We’d leave first thing in the morning, after I’d contacted my job and asked for some leave. I could decide what to do after I’d seen Ryder. No, Kade. Chastising myself, I repeated Kade in my head, trying to match the young man I’d last seen bleeding out on his bedroom floor.
The all too familiar guilt surged at the thought of how I’d last seen my son. It had broken my heart to run when I knew it had saved both of our lives. If I hadn’t run for help, there would have been no Ryder, no Kade, to save. I shoved the emotion away, using some tools given to me in therapy.
Silas looked uncomfortable when I turned towards him. “I won’t be able to come. Now that your case is over, I’ll likely be reassigned.”
“Reassigned?” Great, now I was back to repeating words.
“Look, what we have is great, but it all depends on where I end up and what your plans are with your son. So let’s just see where it goes, okay?” Si got up. It looked like he was barely holding back, like he wanted to hold me. He shook it off and went to his often unused bedroom, closing the door with a click.
Assigned as my guide three years ago, Silas had become something more to me. I just couldn’t say what, since I couldn’t accurately define what we were. He’d taken me through my heats when they’d returned just after we’d met. It seemed only natural that he would, and we’d take Angel next door to Grady and Trey for the night. Often the council vetted someone to care for my daughter while I couldn’t, but I preferred she stayed with them. She was fond of Trey in particular and would do what the beta said, even when she wouldn’t listen to me.
I was fond of Silas, thought that I could grow to love him, and felt that he had some sort of affection for me. After three years, it would be impossible to not have some sort of feelings. We’d gone from our awkward first heat to regularly sharing a bed. He was a large part of my life. My fierce protector.
Now I had to do this alone. To take my daughter and travel hundreds of miles to see my son. My heart ached. I’d missed Ryder so much. He’d missed out on seeing all of his sister’s firsts. Word. Steps. First day at preschool. He’d missed it all.
“Angelica, sweetheart, we’re going on a trip tomorrow,” I called as I moved through the apartment to my room. “I’ll come help you pack a bag in a few minutes.”
“Where are we going, Papa?” she asked from the doorway of her room.
“I’m taking you to meet your brother at last.”
Her eyes widened. “You are? I need to take my toys to show him!” Angelica dashed back into her room and I could hear with my fox’s sharp hearing her muttering about which things to bring and what she wanted to wear.
Nothing came from Si’s room and it took me too long to remember the silencing charm placed on it. I shuffled past without knocking and went to pack our bags.
A Chance Meeting
Jasper
“Idon’tknowifI can do this. It’s been years since I’ve gone anywhere alone. Now I have to travel across the country to see my son. It’s too much.” Panic infused my voice.
“Take a breath, Jasper.” My therapist and friend, Karina, said. “You have all the tools for keeping your anxiety at bay. Have you spoken to the council?”
“I have. Councilman Ford was available to speak to me last night as I packed. He confirmed that I no longer need guarding, but there will be an official report outlining everything.”
“So you know that it’s safe for you to travel then? I can understand your concern. It’s a rather big adjustment, but you handled yourself well yesterday. You’ve dealt with so much in our sessions.” She paused, and I sensed this next question was going to be difficult. “What’s happening with you and Silas?”
Over our sessions, we had dealt with my struggle with intimacy and difficulty in developing an emotional bond with my young alpha guard. There had been a lot of tension to begin with between us, since he felt used for sex and wanted a proper relationship. Karina had helped me see things from his side, while also understanding my perspective. She’d been there for Silas to talk to when he’d needed her. Without the therapy, I didn’t think our fragile arrangement would have worked.
“We haven’t talked about it. He said he wanted to see how things go.”
“Which is reasonable. You have a lot of upheaval ahead. Call me if you need me, okay? Even if it isn’t a session and just an out of hours talk like today.”
“Thanks Karina. I feel bad for taking up your personal time.”
“Jasper, you’re my friend, as well as my client. I’ll make time for you, okay? Just call.”
“I will.”
We’d begun our journey late morning the day after I’d been told my ex had died. I hadn’t discussed it with Angelica, not seeing the need to upset her. As far as she knew, her dad had died not long after she had been born. I’d tried to limit discussions about Rincoln around her and she had never really expressed an interest in the man. All she was aware of was that an evil man wanted her papa and we had to be careful of who we spoke to.
