Page 28 of His Rejected Alpha Mate
“I want that, too. Silas, I really am sorry for not giving you what you needed. Clearly, fate had other plans for us.”
“What are you going to do?”
“No idea.”
At a loose end after my call and with my brain spinning, I visited Kade under the guise of being on pack land to pick up his sister. It certainly wasn’t because I wanted a glimpse of my mate. I didn’t want to find out if he’d be open to taking me through my heat. No, Sir.
Ugh. My fox was furious with that thought. Our poor mate couldn’t be treated in such a poor manner. He wasn’t at our beck and call. He was a strong alpha bear, and we’d hurt his feelings with our callous rejections. My fox reminded me that Dakota had insisted we’d have to beg. My cock thickened at the idea of being on my knees for my mate. I envisioned him naked, thick hairy thighs in front of my face, a large hand in my hair as he guided me to suck him.
Just the thought of sucking him until he knotted my mouth had me hard and leaking. A problem that I had to deal with before I went to the compound. I took a shower, stroking myself to thoughts of Dakota fucking me under the spray. I eased a dildo inside me, a poor substitute for the real thing, and thrust it in and out to the strokes over my cock. Streaking the gray shower tiles white, I came with a loud moan, grateful for the empty house. I shook as I washed away the evidence of my orgasm.
In the days leading up to my heat, I was always hornier. My orgasms came quickly and often as a surge of hormones flooded my system. Within moments, I was ready to go again and had to fight back the impulse to stroke myself again.
Guilt was present as I finished showering. Silas had been right. I hadn’t been invested in our relationship. Here I was, newly single by a couple of hours, and I was already thinking about someone else like nothing had happened. I hated my brain at times. Fighting the mating bond had been difficult, but I’d done my best to stay faithful to Silas. He didn’t need to know my shower fantasies or dreams. Not any more, at least. I was free to see if I could salvage the mess I’d made.
After getting out of the shower, I picked out beige colored slacks that made my ass look great. I paired them with a pale blue shirt and a lightweight muted bronze sweater vest that complimented my pale skin tone and made my auburn waves look extra bright.
Maybe I put more energy into getting ready than I’d needed to. I’d already been on pack lands, dropping Angel off. They were going to wonder at the new outfit and extra care I’d taken over styling my hair.
As I expected, Kade was in his office. Roan wasn’t at his desk, likely in with Kade, but Dakota was at his. He gave me a careful once over, heat filling his gaze. Time seemed to stop as we stared at each other. His tight white button down made him look more tan. Like me, he’d taken more care of his hair, his slicked back, the sides newly buzzed. I felt a pang of jealousy when I wondered who he was trying to impress.
With a knock, I entered the office. “Is this a bad time?” Kade and Roan were huddled over a laptop screen. He pushed back and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“Honestly, I need a break. What’s up?”
I waited until Roan left the office before speaking, the door slightly ajar but giving us the illusion of privacy. “Silas ended things today.”
Triumph lit Kade’s expression for a second before he sobered. “I’m sorry,” he said once he had himself under control.
“No, you aren’t, but it’s okay. I deserve it.” I gave a wry smile. “There’s a problem, though.”
“What is it? Can I help?”
“My heat is in two days.”
“Ah.”
“Yeah. I thought about using blockers to—“
“No blockers!” Kade and… Dakota? yelled. Kade cast a look at the doorway. “Blockers are bad news. What happened to me aside. Just don’t touch them.” He looked at the door again, giving me a significant look that said, “why not ask him?”
I shook my head. “It’s not right to ask,” I answered in an undertone.
“What about Heatwave?” Kade suggested.
“Heatwave?”
“It’s a heat club in Sweetwater. Great place and perfectly safe.”
“What’s a heat club?”
“Moon help me! Roan, can you come in and explain a heat club to my papa?”
“I would,” he called back, “but I’ve never been in one. Want me to get Axel?”
There was a grumble, and Dakota entered the office with a grin from Kade.Little fucker. “Dad, would you explain what a heat club is and how it works to Papa, please?” He gave Dakota a sweet smile. To me he said, “I take it you didn’t get out much when you were away from the pack?”
“No, it wasn’t safe. My heats didn’t return for close to three years after having Angelica. By that time, I already had Silas in my guard unit. And you know as much as you need to about that.” I felt like I needed to explain my lack of knowledge to my mate. “I came from a pack that liked to keep us omegas uneducated in reproductive functions and rights. That didn’t change when I went to Rincoln’s pack.”
