Page 5 of His Rejected Alpha Mate
With difficulty, I ran through my mental exercises. Other relaxed looking people surrounded this man. He was part of the pack somehow. Trusted. Respected. There was no way that fate would put another bad alpha in front of my path. I had to trust fate.
Fate was cruel. I already had someone I could trust. Silas. Someone I’d worked to tear down my barriers for. I cared about him and didn’t want to hurt him. There was no way I was giving all that up, especially for someone who looked so terrifying.
My kids had to come first. They were my everything, and I’d missed out on so much with them. I didn’t want to complicate things with a fated mate.
Besides, I was no good as a mate. Here I was heading for fifty with a failed mating behind me and two children, one which I hadn’t seen for years. What good was I for anyone? Fate had clearly made some sort of mistake.
My mind ran a mile a minute to the point I was giving myself a headache. I rubbed my forehead. Mentally shoving at the thoughts and wrestling with a still screaming fox alter, I pulled my attention to the man speaking to me.
“I’m sorry, Mr Hayes, but Kade’s still in heat. I’m sure you can understand that he wouldn’t want visitors in his room whilst he’s so vulnerable.” The man gave the air of authority and I felt at ease with him immediately, but still my heart broke. Pain from the pieces lanced my skin, and I wondered if everyone else could see the bleeding, gaping wound.
“I just want to see my son,” I wailed, emotion spilling over. All the anxiety, fear, and hope of the past few days broke free at that moment. “It’s been over five years!” My limbs shook as the adrenaline from the last half hour threatened to leave me a mass of exhaustion.
“Don’t be sad, Papa.” Angelica tightened her grip on me briefly before letting go to explore the room.
I kept one eye on her as I tried to get more information out of the man, but they had no further updates other than that both Kade and his mate, the alpha leader of the pack, were healthy. It was just that this heat was particularly intense. No one was forthcoming about why that was either. Ryder hadn’t had bad heats. If anything, the goddess had blessed him with mild, easily sated ones. I’d always been grateful for that.
All the while, I kept half of my attention on the imposing man in the corner. Our fated bond constantly pulled my focus back to him. Then I heard Angelica ask what kind of shifter he was.
“Angel, that’s rude. I’ve told you before.” I couldn’t help snapping at her. Her face falling caused me pain. I shouldn’t have been so sharp with her. The whole situation had me on edge. I felt the pull towards my mate against my will, and knew it was making me act irrationally, but now wasn’t the time to be showing weakness.
It might never be the time. He couldn’t be for me.
“It’s okay, little one.” I heard the man say softly, and she moved closer, tempted by a plate of sweet treats. He whispered, but we all still heard, “I’m a bear. I can tell what you are.” He was so easy with her, almost gentle despite his size. She was enraptured.
“You can?” She smiled up at him. Even sitting, he towered over her. Strangely, I felt no fear for her safety. Both my gift and alter were quiet over our kit’s safety, had been since I’d entered the room, which was odd. My fox being at peace was concerning. It likely plotting, since it didn’t like not getting its own way.
It seemed that I was the only one reacting with fear to my mate. Rationally, I knew that since Angelica was safe with him; I was, too. Fear wasn’t logical, though, and my knee jerk reaction stuck fast.
“Yes, you have the same pretty hair that your papa has.” He liked my hair? I resisted the urge to reach up and push my curls behind my ears. “I bet you’re a fox shifter like him, right?” How did he know about me? Who was he? I shifted position, feeling uncomfortable with all the eyes on me and with Angel across the room.
“I am! You got it right! You’re a clever bear!” She looked over at me with the biggest smile that I’d seen in weeks. “Papa, can I shift?” Shifting had never been a priority at home, so it was a big deal that she wanted to show off her alter. I couldn’t let her, though. We didn’t know these people and although my senses said we were safe, I didn’t have my premonition ability to back me up. It had stayed silent. Since I couldn’t be sure nothing would happen, I had to err on the side of caution.
“Not just now, Angel.” I sighed. There was nothing to be done. I couldn’t see Kade today. I had hurried our journey to Sweetwater for no reason. “We have to go back to the hotel after our visit. We’ll come back and you can meet your brother when he’s feeling better.”
“I don’t like the hotel, Papa. It smells funny, and the man is weird.” Angelica looked like she was moments from an outburst, and I didn’t blame her. I was about to suggest we stop somewhere and get her a hot chocolate while we looked for somewhere else to stay when I was interrupted.
“There’s plenty of room here,” a stern-looking alpha eventually said, “or if you don’t want to stay here, there are the omega houses. We should have one free.”
“I’d rather stay in a hotel, but thank you.” I said carefully, unwilling to offend anyone in case they kept me from my son.
“But Papa —“
“No, Angel.” Again, I was sharper than I intended and Angelica’s mouth shut with a snap. Rubbing my face, I felt the weight of the last few days, the last few years, land on my shoulders. The burden felt too heavy to carry alone. My fox perked up, thinking of our mate, but I mentally nudged it back into a corner. Fated mates weren’t for failures like me. We had Silas. We were happy with what we had.
“There’s Kade’s house. I have a key.” My mate spoke up from his seat next to two men that could only be his parents. He was a perfect mix of them both. He fidgeted under my glare. Just how did he have a key to my son’s house? What was he to him? And why did jealousy curdle my stomach at the thought of them together? He was mine. Not my son’s.Ugh, I rammed that feeling into a mental box and locked it. Mates were bad.
“He won’t mind if you stay there,” he added. Except he didn’t look too sure of that. Every emotion played across his face. Could the others see his feelings as easily as I could?
“Would you like that, darling?” I asked Angelica. I worked to keep my tone pleasant until I could get out of this room. It was too much fighting the call of my mate and the desire to see my son. Being polite on top of it was just painful, but I needed to keep these people on my side. I really wanted to go lie down in a dark room and process for a bit. Maybe call Karina too.
She looked so happy when she said, “yes, please.”Fantastic.
I struggled to listen to the man who was clearly an alpha as he explained something about a merger and pass through rights. “Jasper Hayes.”
“Brown. I’m not using Hayes any more.” I hastened to interject.
“Apologies. Jasper and Angelica Brown?” Nodding quickly in assent, I gave him my attention as he continued. “I hereby grant you pass through rights to Sweetwater and the surrounding areas as one of the pack alphas. You are free to come and go as you wish. The Sweetwater’s will make sure you have permission to enter at the gate so you can visit your son as soon as he can take visitors.”
