Page 66 of His Rejected Alpha Mate
“Okay, video chat later?”
“Sounds good.”
Poppy’s face split into a wide smile when she saw me. “It’s ready! I’m so sorry it took so long. Zinna didn’t want me doing too much magic and I’ve been backed up recently.” She pointed to the basket on the coffee table.
“No worries.” I went over and scooped it up. “Thanks, Poppy. I’m just going to put it away.”
“Yes, hide the sex toy! My poor eyes!” Kade called from the kitchen. Blake chuckled as he carried a tray of drinks through, setting them down carefully.
Deke rolled his eyes. “I’ll sleep on the couch tonight. Maybe you’ll actually sleep for once.”
I blushed. “Sorry,” I muttered.
Blake playfully slapped his cousin. “Deke means it’s okay that you miss your mate, and he’ll give you privacy to reconnect.” Blake reached for the drinks, passing them to Poppy and Deke. “You and Dakota are handling this better than Kade and I could. Honestly, I’m in awe of you both.”
“Stop sucking up!” Kade teased as he lowered himself into the plush armchair. At fifteen weeks pregnant, his stomach was rounded, and he had slowed in his wolf form. His feet often swelled, and he complained often of heartburn and other unpleasant side effects of pregnancy. It didn’t stop him and Blake pawing at each other every chance they got, though. I was just grateful for the sound proofing wards.
Shuffling through to my room, I placed the basket on the bed and sent Dakota a picture with a request for a video call later. Jerking off in the shower and bath took the edge off, but my pregnancy hormones were begging for something more.
Our visit with Poppy wasn’t as long as Kade would have liked. He was nodding off in his seat, the relaxing tea helping with the reflux so that he could rest properly.
There was time for him to get a nap in before Dakota’s parents came to do yet another check on us. “We really aren’t happy with these numbers, Jasper. I know things are hard but you need to shift more often and rest when you can.” James chided.
Aldrin praised Kade, and I felt a prickle of annoyance at them both. “I’m sorry.” I muttered.
James wrapped an arm around me. Even as the smaller of Dakota’s parents, he was still larger than me, his bear alter obvious when you knew. I couldn’t see him as any other animal. “Look, we know things are hard, but we are all hopeful that it’s nearly at an end. The council has said it should be about played out. I wish other packs were more forthcoming, so we’d know for sure—“
“I’ll do better. Once you head out, I’ll go shift in the garden and nap in fox form.”
“Really?”
“Sure. Oh, I need something else with Dakota’s scent. Can you visit him later?”
“We wanted to check on Chase to see if he’s more mobile now. Observe a shift.” Aldrin said, approaching to check my readings. “Hmm. Better than yesterday.”
I watched him and his mate have a silent conversation. It was quite possible that they weren’t even using their mating bond; they were so in sync with each other.
They soon finished up with a parting reminder to “go shift” as soon as possible, and a handful of things for Dakota, including the freshly spelled sleeve for our video chat date later.
Anticipation had me on edge. My fox wanted out, so I made my way to the back door through the kitchen, where Blake was steeping some tea leaves for Kade. My son-in-law wrapped me in a big hug. “I’ll get Deke to come watch over you.”
“Honestly, there’s no need.” I didn’t understand their constant need for us to be escorted and observed everywhere. Blake got the same treatment, but that I understood. He was the pack alpha and currently had no heir. A successful attack on him would plunge the pack into chaos.
“Humor me, would you?”
I nodded and eased away from him, through the door into the summer sun. The lawn was crispy and yellow from the lack of rain; the air perfumed with the scent of tarmac. I sat in the shadow of some trees and stripped off. Letting my animal alter out was simple, as easy as breathing. They surged forward and soon in the man’s place was a red fox with white socked feet and a bushy tail with a white tip.
My fox was beautiful. I loved everything about being in that form. The sharper scents, in this form, I could scent small creatures in the hollow of a tree. With my sharp sight, I could see every leaf above me. The feel of the air over my whiskers and fur was heavenly.
Settling in the undergrowth, I curled my tail around me and just enjoyed the feeling of this form. Everyone was right. I didn’t shift nearly often enough. Even before becoming pregnant, I hadn’t let my fox out as much as I should have.
When I worked at the school, they didn’t encourage it, even though there were a few shifter kids who often struggled to keep their form. A shifter child that got too excited was liable to burst into fur or feathers. I’d seen it more than once over my time there. Angelica had been with a shifter childminder, so they shifted together, helping her keep her form during the school day. She was pretty great at managing her hold over her alter. Giving opportunities to Angelica and denying myself was a familiar habit that I’d formed.
When I’d been with Silas, they hadn’t thought much about giving me time to shift, though they probably did themselves when they took their breaks. It became custom for me to eventually work up the courage to ask or have my fox break free.
I was the worst shifter. My fox chirped at me, irritated at my melancholy thoughts. I was also the worst mate. All the mistakes I’d made since coming to Sweetwater sat heavy on me.
Why had I rejected Dakota? Not just once, either. When I thought back to that time, I was embarrassed. Holding onto a relationship that wasn’t working even before my move had been stupid. Silas was too young for me, not in years since that didn’t matter, but where he was in his life. His priorities were his career and having fun. I wanted a quiet life with my family. Tying him down to me as a form of safety blanket was ridiculous.
