Page 35 of His Rejected Alpha Mate
My frantic thoughts flashed through my brain. Images of my son clinging to life as I ran. I had to remind myself of our rescue. No matter how traumatic it had all been, we’d survived.
The truth was, being in hiding had taken its toll. It should have been safe, but it was a constant state of stress and grief. I mourned the lost years with my son. I hated to be separated from him, even though I knew it was safer for us both. Two targets meant one would be the bait, the other safe.
Life really had done a number on me. Repressive pack, forced mating at a too young age. Controlling alpha and a strained mating.
It was no wonder I was so messed up that I’d spat in the goddess’s face as she gifted me the greatest man to exist as my mate. I was a damn fool! I’d still run away like a coward, though.
My mind was a confused mess as I made the brief journey to the place that I should have passed my heat in. I just had to get home and figure out what I was going to do. Safety. Comfort. It was what I needed to get my head on straight.
I got into the heat house, hastily showered, packed my things and cleaned the place as best I could, wasting as little time as possible. Rushing over to Georgia’s home, I swiftly handed over the keys to the confused omega with barely a hello, and began the drive home.
Hitting Kade’s contact, I called my son from the car. “Hey, Papa. Everything okay?”
“Unlikely. I’ve messed up.” I wouldn’t lie to my son, but he didn’t need to know everything.
His voice sharpened. “What’s happened?”
“Later. I need to have a session with my therapist if I can get a hold of her.” Easing out of the compound and onto the road to Kade’s house, I hit the speed limit quickly in my hurry to get away. I really needed to think of Kade’s old house as my home. “Could you have Angel another night? If you can’t, could you see if one of her friend’s parents would take her?”
“Papa, I’m worried. Are you okay?” I hated the anxiety in his voice.
“My heat just triggered some feelings. I just need to speak to my therapist and sort my head out, okay?” The need to give him something had me blurting out an excuse.
“Are you sure?” I heard the sounds of Blake fussing around Kade and asking if he could do anything. Moon help me, he was so sweet. “We can have Angelica another night. She’s off with Chase just now, doing ‘beta stuff’, whatever that means.”
The thought of Angelica bonding with other betas made me smile. For too long, Rincoln’s judgment of her hung over me and clouded some of my feelings about my daughter. My upbringing in a pack that didn’t value beta females certainly hadn’t helped. “Thank you, and thank Chase for me, would you?”
“Sure, I think he loves having her around. Same mental age.” Kade laughed, and despite my anxiety and self hatred, I smiled. I loved that he was so happy even though I’d had reservations. Blake was the ideal alpha. I couldn’t deny that. The pregnancy had helped me warm to him further.
Over the last month, I’d learned that the young alpha had encouraged his female betas to be the protectors of the vulnerable omegas. When my ex mate had attacked, those beta females had prevented Rincoln’s men from taking any of the omegas from the pack. Blake had also reforged ties with the bear sleuth, which was why my mate was also a member of the Sweetwater pack. Blake was the epitome of what a good alpha should be, and I’d be stupid to deny it.
“Having a pack is good for her. I’m home now. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Papa—“
I ended the call before Kade could ask me questions and quickly entered the house, activating the wards instinctively. The years of coaching from Grady and Trey were at the forefront of my mind. Since I’d been away for about a day, I did a thorough check of the house and found nothing out of place. The threat from Rincoln was over but the trauma still lingered and being overcautious was a habit that would take a long time to break.
Karina’s office was on my speed dial. I fully expected to have to leave a message and did so before cleaning up around the house, hoping that she could fit me in for a quick chat at some point over her busy day. The vampire’s therapy services were in demand, appointments being booked up weeks in advance, and I knew that I’d have to wait until she had either a rare spare hour, or her lunch break. Part of me felt bad about cutting into her personal time, but my panic didn’t allow me to stew over that, too.
My phone rang not long after, taking me by surprise. I half thought that it would be Kade. He’d sent a rather unpleasant text after I hung up on him, demanding an explanation after I got my shit sorted. How would I rationalize my behavior to my son? Sorry, I surprised your dad with a booty call, bit him and then fled as soon as the sun was up, my heat broken, and he was fast asleep? Kade would never speak to me again.
I needed to get my shit together, and fast.
“Jasper, care to explain your message?” Karina’s measured tone was soothing.
Outlining the last couple of days didn’t take too long, and I apologized for taking up so much of her time. “I had a cancellation come up unexpectedly. I’ll always make time for you. You aren’t my client anymore, Jas. Sweetwater has a great therapist I can refer you to. Today I’m just going to counsel you as my friend. Because that’s what you are now, okay?”
“Of course! Thank you. What should I do?”
“You already know what you need to do, Jasper. This whole thing has been one knee jerk reaction after the other. Therapist me would ask you to center yourself, to stop and think things through. Then friend me would say that you need to explain to your incredibly patient mate that your past trauma makes you react in a harmful manner because you are lashing out before they can hurt you.”
A tear slipped free before I could stop it. Karina was right. I was just acting on instinct. “Okay,” I whispered, “I’ll try to explain to him.”
“No, Jasper. You have to. Don’t try. Just stop and communicate with him. I can’t promise it will be easy, but with the way you said he made you feel, isn’t it worth it?”
A sense of foreboding hung over me, and flashes of a vision teased the periphery of my sight. I knew it was coming. I’d earned it even. Deserved it. So when Dakota hammered on the door, I was ready for him.
He radiated fury when I opened the door, revealing his glowering face. Even rightfully furious, he was one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen. He was massive, towering over me, and bulky in a muscular way, showing his job and shifter genes had kept him trim. He’d clearly showered since he had slicked his dark brown hair back in his office look, as I called it. A shadow of a beard covered his square jaw, indicating he hadn’t shaved this morning. Dark, penetrating eyes over a straight nose demanded an answer. His full lips twisted to keep words from escaping as he waited me out in silence.
