Page 44 of His Bonded Omega Mate
It took me a few minutes to get myself together. “Sorry for crying, I–”
“Hey, no need to apologize.”
“I know. It’s just, I really wanted this, you know.”
“And there’s nothing to say it won’t happen. Your body has been through a lot recently. This is maybe not the best time for a pregnancy. Three months can change a lot in shifters.”
His words made me feel brighter. I hadn’t thought about it from that perspective. “You’re right. I was just disappointed. I feel like I have something to prove, you know? With having three mates.”
I don’t know if he picked up on some hesitation as I said three, but he asked, “is everything okay there?”
It was tempting to give a white lie. To hedge. That response wasn’t honest and was something I would have done while I still lived in the pride. Here I could be totally honest. “Um. It’s hard to explain.”
“I’m not going to judge you, Hiro. The chances of you getting pregnant during your first heat with Roan were about fifty-fifty. Adding in the complication of extra mates,” he shrugged, “well, we don’t have the data on that. What I do know is that just a month ago, we gave you multiple contraceptive potions. It’s possible your body just needs more time.”
“I mean, I get that. It’s just there’s this part of me that thinks that I’m failing.”
“Failing? How?” James frowned in confusion.
“I couldn’t get pregnant and I can’t keep the group together,” I blurted out.
“Are you breaking up? You still have mating marks.”
“No. I don’t think so. Look at this one.” I pointed at the mark made by Asher. It was above the one from Tate, on the opposite side of my neck from Roan’s.
“Oh. This one is —“
“Fading. We all have marks that are fading. Roan and Asher are dancing around each other. They barely touch. Tate is trying so damn hard, but he only wants me or Asher. Roan —“
“What about him?”
“I worry I didn’t give him more time to bond as friends before I pushed this on them.” I held my head in my hands. “The pull to him was just so strong. All I knew was I had to keep them with me.”
James stroked up and down my back soothingly. “How do you feel about it?”
“Honestly?” My head rose, and I met James’s eyes. “I dunno. I’ve just been following my gut this time. Asher has always kept me at a distance. Maybe part of me knew I’d never keep him forever. I just hope I don’t lose Tate. I need him.”
“All you can do is to be honest. The elves are big on polyamory. They say the first rule is open and clear communication. But Hiro?”
“Yeah?”
“No one will judge you if it doesn’t work out. The four of you have done the impossible, no matter how long that lasts. Besides, you’ve been blessed with a fated mate. You can’t lose Roan. You won’t end up alone.”
Changes
Tate
Closetoamonthafter our unconventional bonding, I think I reached my breaking point.
We were all ignoring the elephant in the room. Sure, there had been a few aborted chats, but we needed to face the truth; it wasn’t working how we wanted it to.
I loved Hiroshi and Asher. I adored Roan, who was possibly the most patient and caring person I’d ever known. It was easy to see how in love Roan was with Hiroshi, but the interactions between me and Asher with him were forced and uncomfortable for all of us.
We’d all stopped trying in some ways. Roan and Asher kissed occasionally and they would watch movies cuddled up together. Though if I was there, or Hiroshi, then Roan would focus on his mate, and Asher on me. There was a clear division in the house.
It hadn’t escaped my notice that Asher wasn’t spending any alone time with Hiroshi. There had been nothing but a peck on the lips and some long hugs between them in over a week. Had I gotten my mate wrong all along? He said he loved Hiroshi, but was it not the same love that I had for the omega?
The whole situation was driving me out of my mind. Why were we doing this to ourselves? The bonds had faded more, to where we could be around the rest of the pack without needing to cover them as long as no one was looking at them closely.
