Page 62 of His Temporary Alpha Mate
“That’s not true! You’ve been there for me every step of the way.”
It was time to really clear the air and see if our friendship survived.
“But you haven’t been there for me,” I pointed out bitterly.
“When?” Anger at the accusation boiled in his eyes.
“Never.” I took a breath. “How about asking how I was once in a while? I know after the attack you were busy, but you seem to have forgotten they knocked me out.” There were so many instances where he’d failed to be my friend, but I didn’t want to hurt him further.
“I called you over and over and you never called me back,” I couldn’t help saying. “You didn’t tell me you’d met your fated. He did!” I bit out.
In front of my eyes, Roan deflated from his bout of anger. “By the goddess, I’m a shit friend.”
Part of me wanted to keep going, except all that would do was tear into him more. If I wanted to save anything between us, I had to show him I understood and make him see things from my side.
“Look, I get it. Once Hiroshi was on the scene, you had different priorities, but they were never me. So why should I do the same for you?”
“Dalton’s not your fated. This was just a convenience thing. An arrangement.”
Ouch. Fuck, that stung.
“Yeah, that’s how it started,” I defended my choice to do the mating with Dalton. “He agreed to give me his first heat. He also wants a baby with me.”
I sighed, thinking of my mate. “Dalton… he feels like he belongs with me. I’ve given him plenty of chances to break this off. He hasn’t.” I knew I had stars in my eyes just thinking about living with him properly.
“I just called him and he’s excited to move in with me properly. That’s not temporary, Roan.”
“What about us? Everything here?”
Argh, he was so frustrating!
“You aren’t listening!” My voice rose. “I’m in love with my mate and I think he loves me too. Aren’t you happy for me?”
“I am! I want you to be happy.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I guess I just thought you’d be around longer.” There was a long pause, where he figured out what he wanted to say. “We never really got back on even ground. I knew about the crush. I thought ignoring it would make it go away.”
“It didn’t.”
“Do you still…?”
“No.” I met his eyes. “Because I realized I was loving this version of you, that I had I built up in my head.” I had to look away from the pain there. “You were my best friend until someone else filled that role. He waseverything you were supposed to be. He was the one who checked on me, listened to me, shared his stories. Then he became my whole life.”
“Dalton.”
“Yeah, Dalton. You were so wrapped up in your mates then building your family, you forgot about me. And y’know what? That’s fine, because it opened my eyes, made me reach out for something better. If you hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have Dalton, and I’d be missing out on the best thing to ever happen to me.”
Roan reached for me then. Instead of letting him touch me, I moved my hands away. “I’m sorry, Larken. I’ve been a shitty friend.”
“Yeah, you have.” He winced. I felt slightly bad about that, but he needed to hear it. “You need to be needed and sometimes others needed you more than I did.” Once I started, I couldn’t stop. “I was so far down your list because most of the time, I didn’t need you. I wanted you around, though. That just wasn’t enough. You give too much to others, you leave so little for yourself. Roan, one day soon you’ve got to let others take that role, leave something for yourself.”
We sat in silence for a long time.
“What happens now?” he asked.
“Well, I pack my things. The rest can stay in boxes until I can decide what to do with them. You ask Kade to get you someone else. I know you need the helpmore than you’ve been letting on. You look tired, Roan. So go nap with your mate while I get my stuff.”
