Page 23 of Code Mages & Empty Pages
Something in my chest loosened, maybe for the first time since we met. I realised Iwantedher to see me, to really see me. Not just the parts I kept polished and safe, but the rough edges, too.
“I suppose.”
She pressed her lips together, determined. “There is. I’m not scared of you, Luc. I’m not uncomfortable, either. You’re a good person. Grumpy, but good.”
We both huffed out a laugh, then our eyes met and we held onto each other. Dawn reached up and gently brushed the wetness from my cheek.
“It’s okay. It’s just you and me here. Being soft isn’t a weakness, Luc,” she whispered.
For a moment, I was able to believe her without my father’s voice crashing through my head. I leaned in, desperate to forget the world outside.
Ding!
We both flinched as the technician’s grinning face appeared in the doorway. “Everything alright in here?” he asked.
“Yes,” Dawn answered quickly. She got up and smoothed her dress as she stepped back. There was barely a yard between us, but it felt like miles. I hated small spaces, but somehow, with her, I’d forgotten all about my unease. Part of me wanted the guy to close the door just for a minute so I could finally kiss her.
We stepped out into the harsh light of the hallway. Dawn caught my hand for a heartbeat and squeezed. “Don’t worry, Luc. What happens in the lift stays in the lift.”
We walked out together, blinking under the office lights, both of us moving a little slower than usual. I muttered a thanks to the technician, and Dawn gave him a polite smile. My hands were still shaky. There was a weird vulnerability humming under my skin. It was a mix of relief for saying what I’d said, and a kind of embarrassment for nearly falling apart in front of her.
Neither of us tried to fill the silence on the way to the car park. Her hand brushed mine, not quite by accident, and, for a moment, I almost reached for it. But the moment passed, and I needed to get my head straight before I did something I’d regret.
I unlocked the car, and Dawn slid into the passenger seat. The simple normalcy of turning the key, adjusting the mirror, and settling into something familiar grounded me. I took a breath.
Dawn buckled her seatbelt and looked over. “Are alright?”
I managed half a smile. “I’m okay.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I shook my head, grateful that she didn’t push. “Not right now. But thanks for earlier.”
“Anytime, Luc.” She meant it. I appreciated that more than I could say.
The drive helped. My playlist filled the silence as the city rolled past. For a few minutes, I could pretend I hadn’t just exposed a raw nerve in a tiny lift with my housemate-slash-colleague.
After a while, Dawn spoke, her tone casual but curious. “So, what are you up to tonight? Got plans?”
I gripped the steering wheel, wishing for something cool to say. “Uh… nothing special. Just, you know… catching up with a few friends. Online.”
She glanced over, brow quirked. “Online friends? You’ve never mentioned them before.”
My neck felt hot. “Yeah, well… it’s just a thing we do. Friday nights. Kind of a tradition.”
She smiled, but it wasn’t teasing. “That sounds like fun.”
I let out a short, awkward laugh. “Yeah, well. Keeps me busy.”
The silence that followed was somehow both comfortable and charged, as if she could sense I was holding back. She didn’t press, and I was absurdly grateful.
When we pulled up to the house, Dawn lingered for a second with the keys in her hand. “Thanks for the ride, Luc.”
“Sure,” I said, maybe a little too quickly. I watched her walk up to the door, then sat in the quiet for a moment, shoulders tense.
Inside, I went straight to my room, shutting the door a little harder than necessary. I needed to clear my head and lose myself in something familiar. Slipping into the game came as a relief. Here I could be useful. Nobody asked me questions or expected answers I didn’t want to give.
I needed to be part of a pack in the one place I knew how.
