Page 120 of The Home Grown
“Well, it’s just a convenience thing, right? Once the season is over and the Team GB stuff dies down, you can go back to your lives.”
There’s a clench in my chest. What if I don’t want to‘go back’to my old life?
I look down at the floor.
“I knew it,” Johnny says, getting to his feet. “You’re catching feelings. Are you sure she’s not going to lead you along?”
Am I catching feelings? Well, I can’t deny it, that’s for sure. There’s something—an ache, perhaps—hung in my chest, but maybe it’s the anxiety of worrying if I’m enough.
My sister looks between us, head turning like she’s umpiring a tennis match.
“She’s not like that,” I say, turning to Kelly. “Kel, tell him she’s not like that.”
“Well, no,” she says. “I don’t think sheislike that. But her sister’s a nasty piece of work, and?—”
“You were nice as pie to her earlier … even asked about setting up a double date,” I say.
“But Vicky?—”
“Oh, of course. I should have known. The pityparty.”
“What happened with Vicky, Mike? Johnny, what happened with Vicky?” Kelly moves closer to Johnny, but his attention is on me.
“We just don’t want you to get hurt. We don’t want you to invest in something that isn’t long term. We just want to see you happy,” he says. “Remember when?—”
“Please don’t bring any of my exes into this,” I say. “Because this is different.”
“You said that about?—”
I flash Kelly a glare and she halts mid-sentence.
“I am happy. Why can’t you see that?” I look between my best friend and my sister, almost on the cusp of desperation. Begging for them to understand. “And what’s more? I could have kicked off when you told me you’d beensneakingaround with my little sister, but no. I didn’t. I let you make your own decisions and if those decisions turn into a mistake, then you know what? It’d kill me but I’d be there. For both of you. Because you’re my family. And I guess it was my mistake thinking the same of you.”
I drain the rest of my beer and work the buttons on my shirt. Then I stomp over to the ironing board and pull the plug out of the wall.
“You’re right,” Johnny says. “Of course, you’re right. We just don’t want to see you getting hurt, but if you think this is something … then we’ll support you, right, Kel?”
I turn back to face them just as Kelly launches herself towards me, attacking me with the mosthuggiestof hugs.
“We love you, Mike. You know that. And yeah, we don’t want you to get hurt, but … we’re here for you,” she says.
Kelly steps back and smooths my collar, fussing over me like she’s the big sister.
“Thanks,” I say, batting her away. “Now are we going, Cap? Because there’s no way Liam’s getting away with not being strapped naked to a lamppost.”
Johnny stands, and I reach for my phone, frowning before slipping it into my pocket.
ELLIE
I’d be lyingif I said I wasn’t a little envious of Kathryn’s house. She and Greg bought it a few years ago and within months, she had it exactly how she wanted it. No half-painted walls, no worn carpet, no chipped sink—but that’s where the envy stops. There’s no character, no warmth, no feeling. In fact, it doesn’t even feel like a home most of the time, just an empty shell made to look pretty.
Which is funny because that’s how I’d describe my sister.
I pull up outside and cut the engine, stepping out onto the kerb before I can convince myself it’s a bad idea; because, despite running over my lines in the car, I know for a fact that as soon as I come face-to-face with Kathryn I will deviate from the plan.
There’s a small path leading to their front door, a freshly painted bottle green gate at the threshold which I push open, making my way towards the house.
Deep breaths, Ellie. You can do this.
