Page 36 of Craved By You
Startled, I jumped back and held the towel up to cover myself. The air in my apartment had grown thick, heavier than the damp towel I was clutching in my trembling hands. The steam exited the bathroom as quickly as it had entered and I was left with a chill seeping into my bones. “Thank you.” I walked hesitantly toward Colt and accepted the coffee he had taken the time to make for me, staring at it for a brief second before taking that first sip, hoping that it wouldn’t be my last.
Stop it Astrid, it’s not like he has any reason to kill you.My anxious thoughts were starting to cloud my rational judgment.I needed sleep. Desperately. I still clung to the slight hope that when I woke, I would realize that all of this was just a dream.
“I set some clothes out for you.” Colt smiled at me. “I’ll let you get changed and then maybe we can talk?”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t knowhowto respond. I wasn’t trying to be rude, but I needed time to process everything. I walked past him and went into my room and shut the door behind me, not inviting him in. I took note of the oversized Vore Ritual t-shirt that was lying out with my plaid pajama shorts and after a few deep breathing exercises, I finally got dressed. Before leaving my room I acted out the conversation that I needed to have with Colt mentally, in front of my mirror, so that I would be able to breeze through it once I returned to the living room and met him face to face.
Colt was sitting on the edge of my worn couch, his broad shoulders were slumped and his gaze was fixed to the carpet. He looked vulnerable and the silence that surrounded us continued to scream loudly with the horrifying truth that had clawed its way into my consciousness like a wild animal. I crossed the living room and sat in my favorite chair across from him.
“You ate them.” My words came out in a fractured whisper. They felt gross and unbelievable and suddenly I felt the need for another shower.
He flinched and bowed his head further before clearing his throat. “Astrid…”
“Don’t,” I choked out, wanting to get up and run, but I knew he would follow. “Don’t say my name. Not after…” My breath hitched, a sob escaping as flashbacks of what I had found played in my mind like a slideshow. Bile began to rise in my throat and I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to be sick.
“I know, it’s disturbing and sick.” His voice was rough and he finally lifted his head to look at me. The pain in his eyesalmostmade me get up and rush over to console him. “But you have to understand.”
“Understand?” My voice rose, laced with a tinge of hysteria. “Understand what, Colt? That you’re a monster? That you violated human decency? How could I ever understand that?” I began to cry but I wasn’t going to lose my momentum. “I trusted you. I let you touch me and all this time…” I shuddered.
Colt stood up and slowly walked toward me. “Astrid, please, it isn’t what you are thinking.”
“It isn’t what I’m thinking?” My voice was as sharp as shattered glass. “You killed people, Colt, andthenyou devoured them.” As those words escaped my mouth, the reality crashed down. The one man who had made me feel safe, who made me start lovingmeagain… The man I had such a quick emotional connection with even after everything I had been through, was nothing more than a predator.
“It started as desperation,” he pleaded with me to listen as he ran his hands through his hair. “I was going to starve. It was survival, and they weren’t innocent people. None of them.”
“You call that survival?” I spat as I stood up and made my way behind the chair to add a little more distance between us. “What about after your first time?” Tears were streaming down my face, blurring my vision. “You could have stopped after one.” Nausea began taking over again.
“It changed me,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “But what it did, what Iam? It has nothing to do with you.”
My laughter came out harsh, a mixture of horror and disgust brewed deeper within me. “Nothing to do with me? It has everything to do with me. How can I ever feel clean again? How can I ever look at you and not think about what you’ve done?”
He took another step closer, the look of anguish came over him. “Astrid.”
“No!” My voice cracked. “You need to get out! Get out of my home, my heart, and my life!” I backed away and stumbled against the door frame as my body shook uncontrollably, as I sobbed. “Just go.”
Colt froze in place, his shoulders slumping as he realized that there was no working this out. The pain in his eyes intensified. “Astrid, I…” His voice was thick with what sounded like unshed tears.
“Get out!” I demanded. “You disgust me. I never want to see you again!”
The words lingered in the air, sharp and final. I watched as Colt stood there a moment longer. I thought briefly that I might have to call the police to have him removed. He started to open his mouth as if to speak before ultimately accepting defeat. The urge to try and fight for us had finally drained out of him, and he let out a heavy sigh before he walked toward the door and left. The click of the door closing was loud and echoed through my apartment, a chapter closed that I had never wanted to write.I wonder how much of that my neighbors heard.
I leaned back against the door and sank to the floor as heavy streams of tears flowed down my face like the Euphrates. The person who had saved me was a monster, the truth cut through like a wound that would never heal, and yet… A part of me still wanted him.
???
When I woke up the next morning, my heart and mind both told me that I was going to have to talk to Haileigh about all of this. With her growing interest in Chris and Ryder, I couldn’t bear not sharing the information with her when they could be aware or even just as much a part of it as Colt.
I got ready and made my way into work and was greeted by Haileigh’s glowing smile that quickly faded away. “Hey, is everything okay?” She wasted no time.
“No, no it really isn’t.” My eyes started to well up. “It’s Colt.”
Haileigh grabbed the keys and rushed over to turn off the open sign just before locking the doors. “We don’t have appointments for a bit, it will be okay.” She grabbed my hand and dragged me back into her office, sitting me down on the high-heeled shaped lounge seat. “Tea?”
“Sure.” I shrugged. “English Breakfast?”
“You got it.” She forced a smile as she removed a pod from her Keurig and began to brew hot water into a cup with retro daisies on it, adding a dash of cool water before handing it over to me. “Now, spill the tea.”
I stared at her blankly as I contemplated what she had just told me.
