Page 40 of Craved By You
“We planned it.” She gestured toward Chris and Ryder.
“Why would you-”
Haileigh cut me off, clearing her throat like she was getting ready to give me the biggest lecture of my entire life. “I have watched you moping around for weeks. I have listened to you vent. I have made sure you were eating. But not once didyou ever do yourself a favor and communicate with Colt.” She paused. “What he did is foul and gross and all the things that you and I will never understand, but I don’t believe that is the person you got to know. I believe that the person you know is the one who would doliterallyanything for you if you would just hear him out. So yeah, we planned this and you’re not leaving until the two of you talk.”
I stood there, staring blankly as I processed what she had just told me. What started as a simple girls night had taken a turn and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to bolt or stay. The palms of my hands began to sweat as my nerves skyrocketed.What if he hates me?“Did he know about the plan?”
Laughing, Haileigh placed her hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. “Do you think a karaoke bar is Colt’s go-to when he is hanging with the guys?”
A sigh of relief washed over me. I was happy to know he was also unaware of our friends' devious plans, but one question still lingered in the back of my mind...What if he hates me?I didn’t want to believe that one fight - even if it was a big one - and a month apart could wash away our connection. I also knew that amidst the hurt I was feeling, I had caused him pain, too.
It didn’t take long before I could feel the presence of someone tall hovering over me. Haileigh gestured for me to turn around and when I did, there he stood.
Colt.
There was a hurt in his eyes that he was trying to hide; always having to be mister tough guy in front of the boys instead of admitting that he also had feelings.
“Hey.” I raised my hand in a half-assed wave but he just pursed his lips together and nodded.
Okay.I mouthed the words as I turned and looked back at Haileigh and the boys. They all gestured for me to make the first move, which was so annoying. Part of me had hoped that Colt would take the lead on this one, but I knew that with the way I had treated him that it was my turn to show him that I was ready and willing to listen.
“Do you want to find someplace quiet to talk?” I offered, gesturing toward an open booth that caught my eye in the back corner.
Colt looked around. “In this place?” He shook his head. “I don’t think we’re gonna find much quiet.”
“Humor me,” I said, slightly annoyed at his nonchalant demeanor.
“That spot looks great.” He took me by the hand, I assumed so that he wouldn’t lose me in the crowd, but I felt more like a child being dragged out of the store by a parent. “Let’s sit.”
I slid into one side of the booth and he slid in next to me. “You don’t want to sit across from me?” I offered.
“Do you want to have a conversation or act things out like a mime?” Colt didn’t seem like he even wanted to be here.
“This is fine.” I looked down at the table, where tiny grains of salt were scattered from the previous inhabitants. “Tell me everything?”
“Everything about what?” Colt retorted. “Everything about what you didn’t want to listen to a month ago?”
“Colt I-”
“No, Astrid.” He cut me off. “I’m sorry. I wish things could have been different.”
“Theycanbe,” I stressed, unsure of at what point I became okay with all of this. “Tell me your story.”
As Colt began to talk I couldn’t help but sit there and ask myself,how is this man a murderer?I suppose that’s probably pretty common though, a lot of murderers tend to shock the people closest to them.
He detailed his rationale, revealing the events following Janice’s death. He described an immediate, almost addictive draw to the taste, yet emphasized it wasn’t enough to drive him to do indiscriminate killing. He outlined his methodical process, explaining how rigorously validated his findings had to be before he would plan his next moves, determined to avoid condemning innocent lives based on mere suspicion.
Did I comprehend his motivations for killing those specific individuals? Yes. They had, in my view, earned their fate. It was the act of consumption itself that remained perplexing in my mind.
A morbid curiosity flickered within me…Did tattoos alter the taste?I immediately questioned why I was even considering such a macabre thought. It was always said that Jeffrey Dahmer had commented on how they tasted terrible, and part of me wondered about the validity of that statement.
I’ve seen him eat regular, non-human meat before. Right?I started to think back on all of our dates to see if I could remember what he ate. Sure enough, his normal go-to was steak, lots of seafood, and he loved bacon. Maybe he stuck with those because, aside from the steak, he didn’t get the otherstuff from the people he killed. Not that I would know, he was probably capable of getting anything.
My stomach started to gurgle at the thought, and I was worried I was going to be sick. “Okay, let’s talk about something else.”
“You don’t have any other questions you need me to clarify?” Colt asked hesitantly.
“I’m good.” I didn’t mean to snap at him, but I couldn’t think about this anymore, otherwise I was going to be forced to become a vegan. Colt looked so vulnerable as he stared at the table and I couldn’t help but feel empathy toward him. He did what he felt was best for him, and had carried his secrets around for years.
