Page 15 of Craved By You
“Wait.” She went to lean back but quickly remembered there was nothing behind her. “There’s something you need to understand about me, before we continue any of this.”
“What’s that, sunshine?”
She seemed embarrassed by what she had to say, unsure of how I would react. “I don’t orgasm.” Fortunately for her, I already knew this information and had started researching ways that I could try and help her.
I placed my finger under her chin and lifted her face up so our eyes would meet. “You just haven’t found someone willing to be patient enough to help you.”
She seemed pleased with this. “How do you know that?”
“Just trust me.”
???
Astrid
I wanted to trust him, but I had heard it all before.“You just haven’t fucked the right people”was the most common response I would get while knowing that even the best fuck in the world would leave me without feeling a release. I wanted to tell himbefore we got too far into our… whatever this was. Everything was happening so fast.
A good fast.
I was relieved when Colt pulled me into him, holding me while we sat there in silence. The quiet moments didn’t bother me when it came to him. They were comforting, not menacing.
I’ve always struggled to understand why I couldn’t fully embrace intimacy. I assumed that my teenage rebellion, with its impulsive choices and disregard for my own needs, had left a lasting impact. I allowed men to dictate the terms of our encounters, neglecting my own desires and the opportunity to truly explore and appreciate my own body.
Maybe it was deeper than that, perhaps I was never hydrated enough, or relaxed enough, or maybe I put too much stress on myself to be quiet so we wouldn’t get caught; eventually training my body that it didn’t need to orgasm. Regardless of what it was, it wasn’t something I felt needed to be brought up to my doctor.
Colt finally broke the stillness. “Would you like to get dinner?”
“I ruined things, didn’t I?” I asked, feeling infuriated at myself. Colt leaned in and kissed me passionately, pulling me into him as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“You could never ruin anything.” He smiled sweetly, letting go of his tough shell. “We have the rest of our lives to connect physically and learn each other’s wants and needs. When the time is right, we will be unstoppable.” Colt kissed my forehead and helped me off the table.
He held my hand as we journeyed through the maze of his warehouse stopping when we reached the grouping of chains. “You may not think you can be suspended, but with these babies,you can soar.” He grasped the rings tightly in the palms of his hands and pulled himself up. “See?”
“Maybe one day.” I smiled at his determination. “I suppose we could have a lot of fun in here.”
“We can have a lot of fun anywhere.” He ran his fingers through my hair, pushing it behind my ear. “As long as I have you.”
Chapter 9
Astrid
It had been four months since the first time Colt dropped me off at my car after taking me to dinner. Four months since I shared the deepest secret I held. With Colt, it was a whirlwind romance that I thought could only be found in fairytales.
Since he had entered into my life, everything had shifted. While I normally didn’t mind the boring and mundane life I had built for myself, now I craved to be around people even if I wasn’t interacting with them. We hadn’t even had sex yet. Colt was insistent we wait. He wanted to show me that I was more than just a sex object to him, but at this point I just wanted to be his little fuck toy. After tonight’s date the tension had me out of my mind, so I decided to go to the one place where I could burn off a bit of steam.
The gym.
I had purchased a gym membership when I was still with my ex-girlfriend. She’d told me I was getting too comfortableand letting myself go, which had stung. I haven’t been back in forever. There’s something about being guilted into going to the gym because someone is no longer attracted to you that just makes the whole experience feel… tainted. I tried going after I started dating again, but the bad feelings resurfaced the moment I walked in the door.
Fuck trauma.
I wondered if this time would be different. Being with someone who appreciated me for who I was, not what I looked like, was huge. And there’s no one telling me I had to go. Perhaps, without the pressure and without feeling like I had to change myself for someone else, I could actually… enjoy it?
As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed that there weren’t a lot of people working out tonight, which was nice. I’d much rather be there at a time where I wouldn’t have to fight over equipment and hopefully, I would be able to enjoy the steam room without anyone that would attempt small talk.
I got out of my car and went to the trunk, hoping that I had something I could wear tucked away. As luck would have it, as soon as the trunk opened, my gym bag was sitting there staring at me. I could hear the choir of angels singingahhas a golden glow formed around it. I quickly unzipped it and made sure that I had something, anything in it that didn’t smell too horribly. As soon as it was confirmed, I put a little pep in my step and headed to the door - hesitating a moment - before going inside.
“You’ve got this,” I repeated to myself while I nodded my head, trying to psych myself up. “This will be good for you physically, mentally, and emotionally.” I wasn’t sure that I believed myself, but it was worth a try. I scanned my membership card and grabbed a couple of towels. The girl at the front desk who wasfolding more towels welcomed me in but the look in her eyes suggested she knew the struggle I was enduring.
