Page 32 of We Were Never Lovers
“Well, I thought that was the end of it, but as I was jogging up the stairs, I could feel you charging behind me and I was like, I don’t wanna do this, you know? I didn’t wanna keep fighting with you. I never wanted to fight with you. But you followed me and I could feel you behind me, but I was like, nope, I’m getting a taxi, I’m going home. I was gonna go for the taxi stand near the markets, but you came alongside me and gave me a real goodhip and shoulder. And I just wanted to get away, so I went down the lane, thought, ‘fuck it, I’ll walk home, let him follow me,’ and I was gonna walk when you pushed me against the wall outside the Sail & Anchor, you know that little alcove near the food court?”
He glanced at him and Sean nodded.
“Well, it was dark, raining, no one around and you pinned me against the wall, got right up in my face and told me not to walk away when you were talking to me and like, we were both pretty riled up and then, ah, well, then you kissed me.”
Sean sucked in a breath. “For real?”
“Yeah,” Jack breathed out, nodding, his fingers clenching tight over his stomach. “And I uh, well, I kissed you back, got my hands around your head and like really kissed you.”
“Shit, eh,” Sean said; he could picture it. It would’ve been an angry kiss, he could almost taste it, the fierceness of it.
“Anyway, so like, we were kissing there, like, pressed together?” Jack gave him a pointed look. Sean felt himself blush when he got it, felt his dick stir now at the thought of it. “And ah, you pulled back and said, ‘not here.’ And yanked me back into the lane and we got a taxi, went to my place in East Freo, dunno if you remember my house down the road from my sister?”
Sean shook his head.
Jack nodded like that made sense, but it was wistful too, like that place meant something to him, maybe meant something to them.
“And we, you know, fucked,” Jack finished inadequately.
“How?” Sean asked.
“How did we fuck?” Jack asked like he’d rather step over hot coals than get into the mechanics of it.
“Yeah, like, did I fuck you?” He wanted more details. Did they get in the door and just have to do it in the hallway? Or did theymake it to a bed? Did they keep kissing or was it just a brutal fuck?
“Well, yeah, you always, we’ve always done it that way. I like it, you like it,” he shrugged as if this conversation wasn’t turning his cranks as much as it was turning Sean’s—Sean saw him shuffling where he sat, didn’t miss the skittish eyes.
“And? Was it good?” Sean asked.
Jack laughed, his face flushed. “C’mon, man, you know it was.”
“How would I know?” Sean was bewildered and pissed off. He needed more details.
“You reckon we kept doing it for two years ‘cos it was bad?” Jack looked at him and smirked, it was both a boyish and smug expression. It was a look that told Sean why he’d continued to fuck him—he was a good-looking motherfucker, hot too, in that built surfie athlete way. Not as cut as his mate Finn—Jack was more bulk, and that would’ve turned Sean’s cranks, always had, but he would’ve seen that boyish, smug expression and wanted to kiss him and hold him down until all that remained was desperation, his face washed of any humour, only pleas for more.
“Guess not,” Sean said, his voice breathy, betraying the nonchalance. “Did we make it to the bed?”
Jack chuckled. “Yeah, but we knocked over a lot of shit on the way. Didn’t manage to get our shoes off.”
Sean whistled again. “Hot.”
Jack nodded, but he’d withdrawn again. “It was, bit rough too, like, it wasn’t romantic or anything.”
“Did you want me to be romantic, Jackie?” Sean asked.
Jack laughed again. “Nah, not back then. It was good,” he finished shortly. “So, that was the first time and after we were done you started in again about my game.”
“I didn’t,” Sean breathed out.
“You did,” Jack smiled over at him. “Didn’t even let me put my dick away before you resumed the conversation from the club like we hadn’t just fucked in the middle of it.”
Sean laughed.
“Anyway,” Jack’s smile turned down a notch, that careful part he was hiding reappearing on his face, “that’s kinda how I mean you like, you always break down my game but we’re kinda fucking at the same time? Or, like, it’s hard to explain, but the two go hand in hand and it’s, well, it’s kind of a turn on? Like, you were mean about it and we’d fuck and then it changed and you still did it but like less mean? And more, I dunno, like it was what we did in bed.”
Sean tilted his head to the side and tried to parse what Jack was saying. Did Jack get off on Sean talking shit about his game in bed?
“So that’s why today it was just kinda weird for you to be sayin’ all that shit,” he paused, looked thoughtful for a moment. “Like that,” he finished.
