Page 85 of We Were Never Lovers
“They wouldn’t have cared,” Annie said into the silence.
“No, I know,” Jack said. “But I cared. Back then, I cared.”
Helen chimed in and said it all made sense. “Do you guys remember what Dad used to say about Jack and footy?”
Annie laughed, “That’s right!”
“What?” Jack asked, looking between them at the dining table, their hands curled on mugs of coffee.
“Dad used to say, ‘I’m glad he’s so passionate about football, but it’ll be great when he gets a girlfriend so he talks about something else’,” Amy said.
“And then after that carnival, it was all, ‘Sean this, Sean that,’” Helen finished.
“Oh my God, yes,” Sarah cracked up, “‘Sean is such a good winger, he’s gonna get drafted so high, I hope we go to the same team’,’” she mimicked his voice in a high falsetto.
“That doesn’t even sound like me,” Jack said.
“And then the moping when he wouldn’t text you back,” Annie said with a fond smile. “But you still never shut up about him.”
“Dad was right,” Helen smiled. “You just needed a boyfriend to stop thinking about footy.”
Sean nudged Jack’s side and Jack met his eyes, shrugged as if to say,Well, that’s true enough.
By the end of the night, their circle had expanded to five people knowing and Sean said he’d tell Jayden.
“Just in case,” he said when they got into bed.
“It’s never gonna happen again,” Jack responded firmly and pressed his naked body against Sean’s.
“Nah, I know, but, just in case. Plus,” he ran his nose up and down Jack’s throat. “It’s kinda nice, showin’ off my boyfriend.”
“Yeah,” Jack replied and when Sean kissed him, he felt his smile. “I love that part too.”
Sean broke the kiss with a laugh as he remembered Jack’s irritation over Jorge. “Oh my God, Jackie,” he said as he looked at Jack smiling dopily. “You were pissed because Jorge was flirting with me!”
Jack groaned and buried his face against Sean’s chest. “Don’t remind me.”
“No, but, why, man? Ya know I’d never cheat on you,” Sean tugged on his hair to get him to look up.
Jack did, reluctantly. “You wouldn’t, you now, but I didn’t know if… I dunno, it’s stupid but like, he’s really hot.”
Sean rolled his eyes, pushed Jack onto his back so he could straddle him. “He’s nowhere near as hot as you, and like, I was mad ‘cos he was hitting on you.”
“Well, I’d never cheat on you, so,” Jack smiled up at him, his hands running up and down Sean’s back. “It’s why I was kinda weird about starting up again.”
Sean frowned as he put together what Jack was saying. He’d said, “Future you? I don’t want to piss him off.” The sentiment was actually kind of sweet, but also kind of stupid consideringit’d looked like Sean wasn’t going to get his memories back. They’d needed to get back together somehow. He told Jack as much.
“Yeah, well,” Jack shrugged his shoulders back against the bed, stroked his hands around Sean’s waist. “You’re kinda scary when you’re mad, so.”
Sean snorted. “You’re not.”
Jack huffed a laugh. “No shit.”
“But I reckon ya got another play, eh?” Sean leaned down to kiss him, hovering just over his lips in a tease. Jack braced for it, breaths going short.
Sean remembered Jack asking him to go to Finn and George’s wedding—they’d been fucking for the whole season at that point, and while Sean had been so into it he was borderline obsessed with getting down Jack’s pants at every opportunity, they’d never talked about anything beyond the conversation at the beach, were yet to develop much of a relationship outside the bedroom. Jack had seemed nervous when he’d asked, and looking back on it, Sean could see now Jack had been asking him for more than simply going to a wedding with him as a teammate and friend, he’d been asking him to be his date.
A part of Sean had known that, even then, but he’d never been good at looking at his own fears head-on and he’d shot Jack down with a laugh and a, “Fuck, no.” He’d followed him home that night and held him tight after they fucked as if to somehow communicate his regret, his fears. Jack had appeared to let it roll off him, a short, “No, sorry, of course,” before he turned away and busied himself at his locker. But Sean had seen his embarrassment, his hurt, and clung all night to try and make up for it.
