Page 56 of On the Land, We Shoot Straight
“Bonnie done spoil you, huh?” Grady sat and started fixing himself a plate.
“She’s the only one,” Cole replied around a mouthful. He swallowed and went on. “Like, my mama was good, but I’m the youngest and not a girl, ya know? I reckon she saw a disappointment when I was born and then felt guilty about it and then that’s what I got. A mama warring with disappointment and guilt every time she’s lookin’ at me.”
Grady ate and didn’t say anything. Not much to say to that and besides, it sounded true enough. Or rather, Grady had learned Cole generally saw the truth of a thing and said it true as well. So, if he said he had a mama who never really wanted him, then he had a mama who never really wanted him.
“Anyways, I reckon Bonnie tried to make it up to me as much for Mama as for me.”
“Where’s your mama now?”
Cole shrugged. “City, I reckon. Ain’t like we was keepin’ tabs on each other when it all fell down. Daddy said we were all adults, time to be actin’ like it, and Mama never argued with that.”
Grady chewed and thought on that. It wasn’t quite true though, was it? Cole wouldn’t have been an adult yet, and besides, something about the whole thing hadn’t sat right since the day Cole showed up. Something hadn’t sat right since before that—Old Man Cole had been in the hole a lot longer than most without outright losing the place to foreclosure—but it wasn’t something Grady gave a lot of thought to until Cole blew onto his doorstep. It was just one of those background niggles you never give full flight unless you have to.
Before he could ask, Cole was knocking his boot into Grady’s with a different intent and well, Grady wasn’t one to be saying no to that. He had a birthday surprise in mind.
Grady wiped his mouth and then his hands on a napkin, watching Cole drain his beer, before he stood and put his hand out for him. Cole looked at it for a moment. He took it, and Grady pulled him up so they were chest to chest. Grady leaned down, closing the inch between them, and took Cole’s mouth.
He wrapped his arm around Cole’s waist and deepened the kiss, Cole meeting him with little sounds, his hands coming up to grip Grady by the neck. Grady pulled away and kissed Cole as he said, “C’mon.”
He slid his hand back down and tangled their fingers together. He pulled him down the shadowy hall and up the dark stairs. Grady held his bedroom door open and made out Cole’s raised eyebrows in the moonlight. Which was a fair response, this wasn’t usually the kind of thing that was done in the marriage bed, but Grady reckoned they might as well.
Cole went in and sat on the edge of the bed, and Grady sank to his knees in front of him to get his boots off. Cole’s chest was heaving with short breaths. Grady got each boot off, rested his hands on Cole’s knees, and looked up at him.
“We don’t gotta do anythin’ if you’re not feelin’ it.”
Cole swallowed. He looked nervous in a way he’d never done before. He shook his head like he was trying to clear it. Grady stood and watched Cole flinch. Grady frowned down at him. He sat next to him on the bed and put a little space between them.
“Sorry,” Cole said.
“Ain’t nothin’ to be sorry for.”
“No, I—” Cole shook his head again. He climbed into Grady’s lap and went to kiss him but Grady held him back.
Grady searched his expression—he was startled like a frightened horse, eyes too wide, body rigid; if he had their ears, they’d be pinned back to the top of his head.
“I ain’t lookin’ for anythin’ here,” Grady said.
“I know. I want…”
Grady loosened his grip. He brought his hands to rest on Cole’s back in a loose hold.
“I wanna go back and not drink so much,” Grady said and smiled. Cole returned it and nodded.
Grady squeezed his waist. “You wanna sleep here?”
“Can I?”
“’Course,” Grady said and deposited Cole on the bed behind him. He leaned down and got to untying his laces. He wasn’t sure what the hell was going on, but he reckoned focusing on his boots would give them both a second to regroup. And besides, sleep sounded good. Grady could try and get Cole to fuck him with that big dick some other time—the birthday surprise was as much for him as it was for Cole. He’d been looking forward to that thing.
Grady stood, stripped his shirt off, and kicked his pants off. He climbed onto the bed. Cole was staring up at the ceiling, his breathing all funny again. Grady rested his head against his pillow and looked at the ceiling.
“You reckon we take the horses out to check the dams tomorrow?” Grady asked.
Cole blew out a breath. “Yeah.”
“Reckon Chloe been gettin’ all sad, not havin’ you for two weeks.”
Cole snorted a laugh. “She’s probably already forgotten about me.”
