Page 2 of Take Me
“Okay, so back to the decorations.”Cassidy’s keeping us all on task.“Did everything get ruined?”
“Just about.”Sam sighs.“The centerpieces are goners.Same with the custom koozies we bought as wedding favors.”
My sister makes a sound like someone stepped on her toe.“Those were adorable.Sam showed me the design—a cute script that says, ‘Mrs.and Mrs.’with Max and Sam’s engagement photo on the back.”
“Maybe I can help.”All eyes swing to me as I stuff a fat forkful of cake in my face.“I buy koozies all the time for the brewery.”I’m talking while I chew, but who cares?Half these women saw me in my underwear at the Cherry Blossom Lake strip show last week.What?It was for charity.“Let me see if I can get a rush job on a custom koozie order.”
“Really?”Sam looks hopeful.“That would be great.”
“How many do you need?”My distributor owes me a favor anyway.
“About three hundred.Blush pink, if possible.”Sam nibbles her bottom lip.“We’re not in a position to be picky, though.”
“No prob.”I shove more cake in my mouth.It’s nice to feel helpful, given the crap week I’ve had.“Send me the design files if you’ve got ‘em.”
“Thank you.”Max sets down her phone and pinches the bridge of her nose.“This pee thing is just icing on an awful cake.We found out last night we’re not getting the etched crystal glasses for our first toast.Some mix-up with the order.”
Sam’s hopeful smile wobbles.“I know it’s a total first-world problem, but I loved those glasses.”One shoulder lifts in a limp little shrug.“They said, ‘I’m hers,’ with cute cupid arrows pointing at each other.”
“We ordered them etched with our names,” Max says.“We planned to use them for all our future anniversaries.”
The side door bursts open, and Zoe Brooks flies through.ZoeCornish, I guess, since she recently tied the knot in Jamaica.She looks tanned and relaxed, and I don’t feel the least bit envious of all the dopey, happy couple pheromones floating around.Nope.
Not one bit.
I’m perfectly fine filling my mouth with cake, feeling happy for my friends getting hitched while I’m here surrounded by women I don’t even date.
“Good news.”Zoe slings herself into an open chair.“Cal called the guy who etched our glassware at the pub.He’ll do two custom glasses by Friday.”
“Really?”Sam’s eyes fill with tears.“That’s amazing, Zo.Thank you.”
“You guys are the best.”Maxine’s tearing up, too.“I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
“Please,” Lucy says, squeezing Sam’s hand.“It’s what friends are for.”
“Vulvarines,” says Zoe.“It’s whatVulvarinesare for.”
“Can I be a Vulvarine?”I’m not even sure what that is.“I like vulvas and secret clubs.”
“No.”They all shout at once, but they’re smiling now.
It’s a gift.My gift to the world, making everyone laugh when they’re bummed.I go back to my cake, enjoying the thick crust of cinnamon on top.Erika hands me a pale-yellow napkin cinched with a polka-dot ring.
“No shop rag?”I ask, sliding the ring off the fabric.
She snorts.“We use cloth napkins forlady time.”The way she says it cracks me up.“We’re fucking ladies here.”
Can’t let that one go.“Who’s fucking ladies?”
Maxine and Sam raise their hands, and everyone snickers.Hey, look at that—we got everyone laughing again.
Mission accomplished.
Maxine draws a steadying breath.“Okay, so we still need to deal with the candles.”
I spear another wedge of coffee cake.“What candles?”
Erika picks up a glass jar wrapped in a rustic pink label.“There’s a typo.”
