Page 56 of Take Me
“Erika.”
“Hello, Neil.”I hate how my heart bangs the bars of my ribs.I hate even more how handsome he looks in faded gray jeans and a mud-colored fisherman’s sweater.
He nods at the seat that Hazel just left.“I was hoping to run into you.Mind if I sit for a sec?”
“Actually, I was just leaving.”I still need to wait for my credit card, but I’ll leave it behind for the chance to avoid sitting here chatting with Neil like we’re pals.“I have to get back to work.”
“Thought you didn’t work on Mondays.”
Of course he still knows my schedule.Sighing, I pick up my coffee.“Make it quick, okay?Whatever you want to talk about?—”
“I’m seeing someone.”
The blood in my veins turns to tar.I keep my hand steady, setting my coffee cup down on its saucer.“Congratulations.”
“Thanks.”Neil clears his throat.“Heard you and Mason got together.Always thought I sensed something between you.”
“You didn’t.”Crap.“Not before, anyway.Not while you and I were dating.I never looked at Mason like that.”
“Okay.”He doesn’t sound convinced, but he lets it drop.Folding his hands on the table, he takes a deep breath.“I thought, since we’re both seeing other people now, we could have an adult conversation.”
“As opposed to the juvenile ones we had for ten years?”I sound like a bitch, but that was a dick thing to say.“So sorry you found my conversational skills lacking.”
His jaw clenches.“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“How did you mean it?”
“Why do you have to be like this?”
I fight back the urge to throw my coffee at him.“Because you keep pestering me to sit down and chat like old friends, and I’m not feeling very friendly toward you, okay?”
He grunts and looks out the window.“Well pardon me for trying to benice.”
“Nice?”The nerve of this guy.“Nicewould have been dumping me privately instead of staging a public scene to get out of having an uncomfortable, intimate conversation.Nicewould have been not humiliating me in front of half the town.Nicewould have been being honest about your feelings instead of stringing me along for ten years.”
“Erika, God.”He squeezes his eyes shut for a second.“I’ve apologized already, and I swear I didn’t string you along.”It’s clear he’s growing impatient with my pettiness.
That makes two of us.
“I get it.I wasn’tthe one.Not for you, anyway.”I’m dry-eyed and holding his gaze like a grownup, so maybe I really am over him.“But you could have manned up and talked to me privately as soon as you started having doubts.”
“Fine,” he mutters, glancing away.“Sorry for being just a little bit busy serving and protecting our country.”
“Fuck off, Neil.”How dare he play the military hero card.“A month before you dumped me, we went shopping for engagement rings.”
“That was a flop.”He mutters it softly, like I’m not meant to hear, which just makes me madder.
“You’re right, I didn’t want the same sort of fancy ring you seemed to picture me wearing.So what if I didn’t have a clue what a bezel cut is, or thatcaratisn’t something you put on a salad?We could havecompromised, Neil—that wasn’t a reason to break up.”
“That’s not why we split, and you know it.”He won’t even look at me now.“We’re too different.”
“I wasn’t enough, you mean.”I sound so pathetic, but I can’t seem to make the words stop.“Not the sweet little girly-girl you wanted me to be.”
“I’ve known who you are from the start, Erika.”He sounds tired now, resigned.“I’m allowed to change my mind about what I want in a life partner.”
“So why did you keep stringing me along?”When he doesn’t respond, I keep going.“Two weeks before we split, you were pushing me to pick a wedding dress.Aweekbefore you dumped me, we discussed having our wedding in the same church where my parents got married.”My eyes start to sting, but I blink myself back under control.“You can’t honestly tell me you changed your mind that quickly.”
He hesitates.Tearing his gaze off the sidewalk outside, he looks at me with remorse in his eyes.“No,” he admits.“I can’t.”
