Page 73 of Take Me
Still wagging his tail, he sprints to a shrub at the edge of the shore.Lifting his leg, he pees for a lifetime, then trots off to sniff at a tree in the opposite direction.Ignoring my shouts, he stands there inspecting a pale patch of grass.
“He’s completely ignoring me.”
“Yep.”Lucy watches him water the side of a trash can.“Guess steak and a toy weren’t motive enough.”
“I knew I should have found a cute female horgi to hold.”
“Maybe he doesn’t want to swim,” she muses.
“You can lead a horgi to water, but you can’t make him dog paddle.”
“Guess we’ll try again some other time.”
Sighing, I trudge out of the water.“Here’s hoping Jake’s wedding goes better than that did.”
My twin gives a chuckle as Scrumpy trots down the shoreline, lifting his leg on somebody’s upturned canoe.“As long as Jake gets down the aisle without lifting his leg to pee on a pew, I think we’re just fine.”
Hazel swings by that evening,holding six shopping bags bulging with the contents of the entire women’s department of Saks Fifth Avenue.
“Do we even have a Saks Fifth Avenue in Oregon?”I hold open the door and reach down to take two of the heaviest looking bags.“Jesus, what’s in here, bricks?”
“Yes, bricks.”My cousin sets two bags by my couch as Erika comes in behind her, still dressed in her Spencer-King Auto uniform.“Since you’ve proven yourself to be reckless in your pursuit of hastily disrobing your girlfriend, brick-based clothing seemed like a sturdier option.”
“Very funny.”I’m hoping she’s not really pissed.It’s sometimes hard to tell with Hazel.“Do I get to stay and watch the fashion parade?”
“Yes, please.”Erika drops her keys in the same bowl that always holds mine, which seems like a solid display of simulated devotion.Nothing says ‘in love and living together’ like sharing a spot for your keys.
“Hi, honey, I’m home.”She sounds weary, but happy to see me.
I hug her hello, since that’s what in-love couples do, and I hold on a little longer than I probably should.Her clothes smell like auto shop, but the familiar fern scent still clings to her skin.“Are you just getting off work?”
“Yeah.”She watches Hazel bustling around with her bags.“We just happened to pull up at the same time.”
“I can come back if now doesn’t work.”Hazel glances between us.“We said six, right?”
“No, this is good.”Erika stretches a kink from her back, and I watch her breasts strain at her Spencer-King Auto shirt.“I need to figure out what to wear to Jake and Cassidy’s wedding, so this is as good a time as any.Plus, you came all the way here.”
All the way hereis less than a mile, but I’m happy to host my cousin and fake live-in girlfriend.“Can I get you anything to drink?”
“I’m fine.”Hazel frowns.“Are you really planning to hang out and watch us go through clothes?”
“Why not?”I glance at Erika, who gives me a tired-looking smile.“As long as it’s all right with you.”
She chuckles and peels off her jacket, draping it on one of the hooks by the door.“I need all the help I can get.”
“All right, Mason stays.”Hazel points at me with a mock-stern look.“But no making a mockery of women’s fashion.”
“When have I ever?—?”
“Shhh.”Erika claps a hand over my mouth.“Six-foot-four men who dress in pink skirts with red boxers are already on thin ice when it comes to fashion advice.Don’t make me doubt your wisdom.”
Nipping her palm, I grin as she yelps and yanks back her hand.“I’m six-five, thank you very much.And I’ll have you know I make a beautiful Dolly.”
Hazel primly unpacks the contents of a bag.“While I’m certain that’s true, we reserve the right to veto any clothing you choose simply because it accentuates your girlfriend’s breasts.”
The word rolls a pleasant shiver down my spine.Girlfriend.I like how that sounds.
Erika and I trade a quick smile as Hazel continues piling clothing on every flat surface.There’s a huge mound of shirts on my coffee table, and another big heap of skirts on my sofa.
