Page 13 of Final Goodbye
“Let me know when she finally texts you, so I can be the third wheel on that date.” He elbowed me with a goofy smile on his face.
“Shut up,” I grumbled. I mean, a date and a text were things that I wanted, but for that to happen, I needed to shake these cobwebs off and get my shit together.?
I hadn’t been on a date in a while, but I was still a man with needs. I’d still take care of myself. I’d been fucked over by too many women that dating hadn’t crossed my mind. Until now. And it couldn’t be worse timing with the shit Paige was going through.
Sophie greeted us each with Coors Light and couldn’t help but add her two cents.?
“Now that was some sexual tension if I’ve ever seen it!” She had no idea. At least on my end there was. I didn’t know if I had crossed her mind, but damn had Paige been stuck inside my head since I ran into her a few days ago. Letting out an irritated sigh, I dragged my hand down my face and shook my head.
“Yeah, yeah, why don’t you both shut up and focus on your own love lives?” Taking a sip of my beer, I hoped for a different topic of conversation to come up.
“Looks like Myles and I agree on something for once. I guess it wouldn’t matter to you, then, that she just came in looking for a job and she starts tomorrow.”?That piqued my interest… Did I hear that right? A job? What had changed since our talk yesterday? Did that mean she was planning to stick around? I had so many questions that I wanted the answers to, but didn’t ask. Now wasn’t the time to show my desperation.
But I knew how I’d get my answers. Straight from the source, when I visitedPeaksfor my after-work beer every evening.?
I picked up my beer with a mischievous smirk, took a drink, and let out a chuckle under my breath.?
“Mhmm, that’s what I thought,” Sophie said, letting out a giggle as she walked away.?
“Yeah, dude, you’re fucked,” Myles added.
Fucked was one way to put it. I was always open to relationships but had terrible taste when picking them. Like I said, I’d been fucked over a lot. But now that I couldn’t get my mind off Paige, it made me consider that maybe she was the type of girl I needed. I had a gut feeling she would be hard to get, and I was up for the challenge.
Who wasthe girl staring back at me in the mirror?
It was difficult to recognize myself at the moment. The dress I was wearing was both a symbol of unity and remembrance.?
Once worn for a friend’s wedding and now recycled for my father’s funeral.
Judging my reflection, I took a moment to wonder if the dress was appropriate for a funeral. Black fabric hugged my thighs tightly, with a mesh skirt that flowed over my legs, falling to my knees. Thin straps held the dress up on my shoulders, and the soft material cinched at my waist perfectly. It was flawless for a wedding; it’s why I had bought this dress originally.?
I felt the need to dress it down, so I grabbed my jean jacket, instantly making it appear more casual. It was a chilly day, and the jacket would help me stay warm. I buckled my single strap heels and did one last look in the mirror. Dragging my hands down my dress, I drew in a long breath.?
“It’s going to be okay,” I whispered. “You can do this. You are strong. You are capable. You are resilient. You will embrace thechange coming your way and welcome new opportunities with open arms.”
I repeated those affirmations until I felt ready to walk out the door and face what would be the hardest day of my life.?
It was a chilling car ride to the church in town. Chase, my mom, and I drove in silence. No music played and not a word was exchanged.
Looking out the window as the trees passed by, I thought about how I was going to say goodbye to my dad one last time. My mom was too broken to stand in front of others and give a speech, and Chase had a fear of public speaking. Not to mention he was just a kid. We couldn’t expect him to go up there, speak about his father, and hold his composure. So, it would be up to me to speak for the family and address those in attendance.
I’d written a memorial speech that had been burning a hole in my pocket the last few days. It appeared worn due to being folded over so many times from my constant reading, but I needed it to be perfect. I hoped the words I wrote captured what everyone in the church would be feeling as a whole. I had mixed emotions. Some days, I was angry that he cheated on my mother, and I never knew until he was already gone. Other days, I felt nostalgic and sad, thinking about all of our best moments we spent together. I just wanted to say goodbye properly and leave out the new feelings I’d been harboring since my mom enlightened me about my dad’s other life.
I needed closure.
The car was parked when Mom gave me a look that only I could understand. Giving my hand a squeeze, she looked at me with a furrow between her brow and a gloss set over her eyes. She didn’t need to express herself with words; I knew she was telling Chase and me that it was going to be okay. She was trying her best, even in her broken state, to prepare us for what was on the other side of the car door.
I approached the small white church just off of High Street. There was a beautiful sign welcoming people to my father’s funeral. One of my favorite photos of him appeared on a large white sign set on a black iron easel. Smiling right at me, with his infectious grin, was my dad. The sign kept it simple with why we were here.
“In Loving Memory of Anthony Wilson?
June 11th, 1967 - October 8th, 2024”
Even though I wasn’t a religious person, I took a moment to appreciate the wonderful job the staff of the church did decorating the place. Out of the kindness of their hearts, they helped our family put on a funeral for a man who never attended their church in the first place, all so we and a few family friends could pay our respects.
White lilies lined the walkway between the pews that led to the dark chocolate closed casket my dad laid in. A beautiful wreath, placed impeccably on top, was full of white lilies, roses, and carnations. Green leaves protruded wildly and made for the perfect piece to lower into the ground along with him. I assumed there was a meaning behind the white flowers, since there was an abundance of them.
Hope? Peace? Sympathy?Either way, I told myself they would comfort him.?
