Page 23 of Final Goodbye
“Wow, that's a long time for a guy like you not to be in a relationship.”
“A guy like me? What kind of guy is that?” One of his eyebrows lifted in question.
“I mean you’re so kind and successful. I guess I'm just surprised someone hasn’t snatched you up,” I answered nervously.
He placed his hand on his chest and reared back with his mouth open like he was in shock. “Was that a compliment?! You think I’m kind and successful?” he joked.
Rolling my eyes at him, he added, “Yeah, well… I don’t get into relationships unless I know the girl is someone I want to take home to my parents,” he looked down at my lips and back up to my eyes before finishing, “but that doesn’t mean I haven’t fulfilled my needs in the last five years.”
Man, did he have a way of going from flirty to serious in a heartbeat. Swallowing the lump forming in my throat, I did my best not to appear nervous.
Thinking of himfulfilling his needshad me feeling jealous of any other woman who had the pleasure of helping him in that department.?If he kept saying things like that, I’d end up straddling him on that chair, selfishly fulfilling my own needs.
I think we both had needs and desires to fulfill but now wasn’t a good time with the way my thoughts were going back and forth like a ping pong ball. I was torn between my feelings of wanting to grab hold of him and selfishly fulfill this aching desiredeep inside of me and not wanting to use him. Declan wasn’t the kind of guy you used and ignored when you were done with him.?
Clearing my throat, I said, “I like your tattoos, you have so many. What do they mean?”
Looking down at his arm, he pulled his sleeve up to get a better look. “Well, for now, I just have one arm fully done. I wish I could impress you by saying there are all sorts of deep meanings behind them, but I just enjoy the art of it. I always loved geometric designs and the overlapping lines. Just thought it looked cool.” He shrugged.
I was drawn to his tattoos. Everything about him drew me in. My hand found his forearm when I rubbed my fingers gently across the tattoo that intrigued me the most. It was like looking into a kaleidoscope, being entranced by all the different shapes meshed together. All the black and white lines crossed over each other created the most intricate designs.?Whoever drew these on his body was a fucking saint because I found myself wanting to trace each line with my fingertip to see where they led to.
My eyes met his when I started to realize I was burning up. Declan was making me feel things I haven’t felt in a really long time. I couldn’t control myself when I was around him. I wanted to loosen up and flirt. I wanted to be near him all of the time. I wanted to feel his touch. But I didn’t want to lose the only person who had been there for me since I came home. Fuck, my mind was all over the place with what I wanted.
His eyes were heavy and glossed over when he looked down at my mouth. His hand landed on my cheek, his thumb grazing across my bottom lip. I wouldn’t be able to stop him if he went in for a kiss. My self-control was hanging on by a thread.?
The moment between the two of us felt like a lifetime, and seconds ticked by that went on forever. His touch was burning a hole through me, and I wanted to give into my desires sodesperately. He looked lost in thought, like he was torn between taking this moment one step further and ending it completely.?
To my disappointment, he chose the latter.
Fuck,fuck, fuck…
She was making me lose all control. We had the perfect moment. I could have taken her mouth with mine and devoured her in seconds. I was so close to feeling her lips, but the timing just wasn’t right… I didn’t want to be the guy that only helped her heal. I didn’t want to be a one-time thing or the guy she used for a distraction to feel better.
I needed more with her.
I got the feeling she wouldn’t have backed down if I made a move. She so easily sank into my touch when I felt the warmth of her skin in my hand. She allowed me to toy with that plump bottom lip of hers.
I was so close.
But the feeling that shot straight down to my groin was a wakeup call. If I got one little taste, I wouldn’t be able to hold back. Paige wasn’t the type of girl you’d taste and pull back from, she was the kind you melted into. I needed to make sure it wouldn’t be just a one-time thing with her. Regret hit me with what I was about to say next.
“We should get you back to your car. It’s getting late and I have another early morning wake up call,” I let out in a shaky voice, dropping my hand and breaking our connection. It felt like we had only been here for minutes. I didn’t want to get her to leave, it was all a lie so we wouldn’t be tempted to take the intimate moment further.
Standing up, I took her hand in mine to help guide her back up the trail. She wore a disappointed look on her face, like she was expecting something else to happen, but she played along anyways. Her reaction almost made me think twice.
“Yeah. We should get back; my mom is probably wondering where I am. I don’t want to worry her.” She started to take off the hoodie I gave her. “Here, I should give this back to you?—”
I cut her off when I confessed, “Nah, it looks way better on you. Keep it.”
We drove in silence, something in the air feeling a bit more awkward than it was on our way to my place. Maybe it was because we were tired or because we were both avoiding the fact that we almost shared a kiss back there.
“Wait right here.” I parked next to her car and hopped out of the driver’s side before she could open the door. I wanted to clear up the awkwardness as much as I could in this moment. Opening up her car door for the second time tonight, I grabbed her hand to help her down once more. Looking up at me, she broke the silence with a sad smile.
I loved when she smiled, I just wanted to see the joy behind it instead of the sadness. The feeling that I was the reason for the grief inside of her tonight gutted me.
“Thanks for tonight. It was everything I needed after the day I had. I appreciate you coming to my rescue… again.”?
“You never need to thank me. The pleasure was mine, Paige.” I pulled her in for a time-consuming hug, taking a long drag of her lavender scent. To avoid her feeling like I didn’t want her,my hands crawled up her back and wrapped around the nape of her neck. I allowed my lips to linger a moment too long on her forehead, so she would know that I did want more with her. I didn’t want to leave her for the night with her thinking I didn’t want to kiss her, because I did want that. More than anything.
